Just keep breathing

Being a mother is hard work. 

"a mother thinks about her children day and night, 
even if they are not with her and will love them
 in a way they will never understand"

You will rarely meet a mother who says that bringing up a child is simple and easy. In fact I don't think I have ever met such a woman.  

Motherhood doesn't come with a neat little instruction manual and many mothers struggle to find their way and are forever worrying that they aren't getting it right.

Every mother feels that they could have done a better job and in reality, perhaps we could have — but the fact is, we all do the very best we can under the circumstances, we are not perfect and we shouldn't be so tough on ourselves.

It is perfectly ok as a mother to say that it is tough.

It is fine to say that you need a break.

That you want to cry . . . or scream from the roof top.

That it hurts and the pain can be too much at times and you would love to walk away from it all.

. . . I have been in that situation and I am certainly not alone. It doesn't mean I don't love my children, it just means I am human and finding it all too hard. 

Don't be afraid of being honest — some mothers put on a brave face because they don't want to be seen as failures. Motherhood is a lifetime commitment, a calling (not a phrase I am fond of) but that doesn't mean it is going to be a easy journey — no journey in life is. 

We need to be honest and not pretend that motherhood is a bed of roses as in reality it is not.  We should share our fears and worries, we should not bottle up our tears and anxieties and there is nothing wrong in wanting a break some days. 

As mothers we will have wonderful days, silly days, days full of laughter, terrible days, days of panic, frustration, tears, days when it is all too much . . .

. . . and days that are just perfect that we wish would go on forever and ever. . .

Motherhood takes us through every emotion whether we like it or not.

"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed" (Linda Wooten)

How we mother may be different: some are very strict, others more laid back, some are helicopter mothers, others allow much more freedom. Some mothers work, others are at home, some do not have a husband, others do. No matter how different we all are — we all have one purpose, to care for our children the best we can. Teach them, discipline them, train them, nurture and comfort them, love them, encourage them and make sure they know that whatever they do, we will always be there for them.

We are the one person that that our children will rely upon and no matter how we feel, we cannot walk away or desert them which is why the role of motherhood is so important and why we as mothers need to be supportive of other mothers. 

We need to be ready to listen, to give a helping hand, to reach out when others are struggling, be a shoulder to cry on, arms for comfort, offer encouragement and we need to be there to share the joy.

Motherhood may be tough, but there are many many moments of shear bliss and joy.

Motherhood is not something that ends in a few years. Even though both my sons are now in their 20's and one is married, my role as mother is far from over. Sometimes I think that the last few years have been the toughest of them all. There certainly have been times when I have doubted my own strength and ability, when I wish I lived alone with four cats and had never had children. Of course, that isn't really true — but occasionally it can feel all too much to carry on.

I have four pieces of advice for mothers: 

1. Never give up

2. Just keep breathing

3. Don't forget to laugh (daily)


4. Pray— asking God for His wisdom, care, tender love and holding your hand though every moment. Spent time with God daily asking for His advise on all things regarding your children, it does make a huge differences and gives you the strength you need when things become difficult.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

 Philippians 4:6


  1. This was a wonderful post with fantastic timing. Not 2 days ago I was visiting a friend, who happened to have unexpected company. This other woman is the mother of a 10 year old girl with Cerebral Palsy. I am not one to shy away from the difficulties of being a Mother and I celebrate the good just as easily. That day's conversation was about the difficulties and the pressures a Mother feels as to their dedication to the job. This gal spilt her heart out to us in a short period of time. She told us what she wanted in her life for herself, aside from being an advocate for her disabled daughter all the time. It was wonderful to feel her trust and experience such honesty. She left, and my friend looked at me and said, "That is not something she talks about. Ever. How beautiful that she knew she could trust us with her heart like that." I often complain that I have a difficult time making close friends, but I realized in that moment that not all deep, meaningful relationships are long. This one was around a half an hour. That Mother gave me so much in that short amount of time. The chance to build my compassion for others. A feeling of gratitude as to the perfect health of my children. A chance to connect with someone at a level that doesn't present itself everyday. Thank you to that beautiful woman for trusting me, and to me for being open. I love Mothers, and I love listening to their stories. Thank you for this post.

    1. Its wonderful that she felt able to trust you to tell you how she was feeling, it probably made a big differences to have someone to talk to, I know if does with me.

  2. What a wonderful post and a joyous Blog you have !
    I come from JES and I'm going to follow you with so much gladness, thank you for having made my day.

  3. This is very encouraging Jo. Motherhood is very hard! When I read blogs of women who give lots of child-rearing advice, I marvel at it all! I am still figuring it all out but have learned one thing, PRAYER is everything!!! Thank you for sharing on the Art of Home-Making Mondays!

    1. My sons are all grown up with one married and I have not got it all! Currently I learning to be a mother to a 22 year old (which is very different to a toddler!) with some issues and it isn't easy but I am getting there and just keep on praying and breathing.

  4. Motherhood certainly does come with its shares of sorrows and trials! But that's only one side of it - there is a lot of love, joy, fun and excitement, too! :) Your advice is very good advice indeed. My other advice would be - treasure every moment; the years fly by and children grow too fast!

    1. I agree about treasuring all the moments - and even though they do grow up - the adult moments are just as valuable and precious as the younger moments.


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