Finding joy in the everyday

Last week I wrote about " Ways to Love and Save a Marriage " ( LINK ), this week, as we approach Valentines Day I thought I would look at " keeping the romance going" — not just on Valentines Day, but every day of the year. When we are tired or weary, it can be hard work to almost impossible being romantic — the house is looking messy, dust is everywhere, the kids are noisy, the bills are piling up, dinner has to cooked, washing to do and don't mention the dishes  . . . feeling grumpy, overweight and unattractive and husband is oblivious to it all. I think we have all been in this space more times that we want to admit during our marriage.  But . . . its not a space we want to be in for long as it is not healthy for us and nor is it good for our marriage.  We need to pull ourselves together and get romantic because part of maintaining a healthy loving marriage is the romances. And we don't want to be another statistic. Firstly —...

Thanks to my cousin Bets for posting this on Facebook a few weeks ago — a perfect reminder to all of us who are married which, as we saw on Monday post ( LINK ), becoming a less frequent institution with a  growing number of couples with desire to marry. Marriage is HARD work and for many it is a very bumpy ride which sadly a growing number of husbands and wives are willing to give up on when the bumps become too much.  We all like to travel on the smooth freeways, but many of us find ourselves on the stoney backroads and without God these backroads are very unpleasant.  I can remember as a child my dad driving on  dirt roads like corrugated iron and it was bumpy and did the car and tyres no good but many of us  are not willing to put in the work required to move back to the bitumen freeways.  — if only we as a society were more willing to improve our listening skills, the ability to give rather than take, praying during the good and b...

According to a recent news story (source: January 3rd, 2016 — Canberra Times ): Sixteen per cent of Australian couples now live in a de facto relationship, according to the latest census, up from 10 per cent fifteen years ago. The proportion of cohabiting couples who are unmarried and have children has risen from 4 per cent to 11 per cent. . . . it's actually women who are driving this massive social change. They're not hardline feminazis raging against a patriarchal institution but bright, practical, independent women who can't see what difference a wedding would make to the security and stability of their partnership. Educated, making their own money and enjoying sexual freedom, these women are proud their social status is no longer tied to their marital status.   The liberation of women includes the idea that women are free to make choices about everything – including fertility and cohabitation – that their own mothers did not feel free to make,...

Do not commit  adultery. (James 2:11) Back in mid 2012 I wrote the following blog post about adultery and mentioned the very successful Ashely Madison company. Of those who read that blog post, Ashely Madison (who has the bi-line " Life is short. Have an affair ") the name probably meant very little to you. It should now. Hackers released the names and emails of 33 million, yes, 33 million and whilst some are bogus and have never used the services of Ashely Madison — many many have. One, of course, was a member of the TV celebrity family, Josh Duggar, a man who should have known that this was an evil and deadly site. But this blog post isn't about Josh Duggar in particular — it about the millions of men and women just like him having affairs and think it was acceptable, it is ok and that it won't hurt anyone (if they don't get caught).  As for Christians like Josh Duggar, thinking they can get away with adultery, yes, they might from their sp...

Source: Google imagines Falling in love is easy ... ... staying in love is very special. My husband and I are " empty-nesters " and this is often the time when couples get divorced. They stay together "for the children" but once on their own, they give up trying and go their separate ways. You can no longer hide behind the children and all their activities, its just you and your husband and you really do need to get along, work together and live in harmony.  I see the " empty-nester " stage of live as a second honeymoon - no children means you can let your hair down, have some romantic fun and fall in love all over again. The responsibilities you had with children are no longer same, you can sleep in, stay up late, go out for dinner, eat late if you want to, stay up and watch movies, go for long walks, share cooking a meal together, go shopping together - it is just you and your husband (or in our case 2 cats and 2 dogs who also want to j...

Do you celebrate your wedding anniversary? Do you remember other peoples wedding anniversaries? Ours tends to come and go and is often forgotten. It's the 27th of December (not that I want you all to remember this date!) and gets lost between Christmas and New Year. We don't do anything special and we don't give each other gifts, but it should be something we celebrate, especially after 22 years.  However I would like to remember my son's wedding anniversary (1st of August) and make sure I mark the occasion with a card and a gift that matches the year.  Why? With many marriages ending in divorce or young people just not getting married - we should make a deal out of wedding anniversaries as they important and do mark a special occasion (or milestone), especially in this day and age when marriage isn't seen as important.  And its fun to find a gift to match the special day.  I tend to use the traditional anniversary list.  *** ...

There has been quite a buzz in the local newspapers and its all about submission in marriage. Writing in The Sydney Morning Herald, Peter Jensen explained why, he believed, a wife should ' submit ' to her husband on their wedding day, sparking a fierce debate on blogs, Twitter and Facebook. . . . According to Jensen . . .  brides will promise to 'submit' to their husbands under a new marriage vow that the Anglican diocese of Sydney is expected to approve at its synod in October . It requires the minister to ask of the bride: ''Will you honour and submit to him, as the church submits to Christ?'' and for her to pledge ''to love and submit'' to her husband -- and is already being used in some Sydney parishes. ( source ) Comments have been scathing, 100's of people have responded across the on-line newspapers that ran this story, very few were from Christians (but some were) supporting this change of the wedding vows, ...

I am thrilled to announce that my eldest son will be getting married to his longtime girlfriend on the 1st August. This is also the day that my lovely daughter-in-law will turn 23. They met in high-school (1st and only loves) and have been together ever since.  They are perfectly matched, both a little nerdy, both have similar interests, both love each others company, do almost every thing together and very much in love. They had thought of having a biggish wedding with all the trimmings, but neither like to be the centre of attention and neither like the idea of money being wasted on weddings (both are very sensible with money). Instead they have decided to get married with only their parents and siblings in a private garden. It isn't everyones idea of a wedding (and I hope the family understands) - but for these two, it is what I would have expected. After the wedding we are going to enjoy a lovely dinner at a local Balinese restaurant. With so many young people d...

Romantic embrace by Brent Heighton . . . by love serve one another.   (Gal 5:13) Ladies, you may think that men have plenty of courage and they don't need any of ours - but you're wrong.  I've made a discovery that will change the way you look at your strong, capable husband: Sometimes he still feels like a little boy. When your hubby is rejected by a job interviewer who's half his age, he feels defeated.  If he's told that his credit rating isn't good enough to get the low-rate car loan, he feels like a failure.  He needs to be reassured that you still think he's wonderful, even of the rest of world doesn't.   - from " Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome " by Nancy C. Anderson (page 65) Therefore comfort each other and edify one another . . (1Thessalonians 5:11 ) We often forget that our menfolk are not made of steel and that they cannot always get through ever battle alone.  They are not the knight in shinning amour that ...