Have you tried to change your husband?
Have you tried to change your husband? I'm sure we all have from time to time - their deficiencies can drive us mad and we often make it our pet project to "remould" our husbands into the way we would like them to be - to always pick up their dirty washing, replace the toilet paper, arrive home on time, have more patiences . . . I cannot be the only one who has done this.
We frequently face situations where we are tempted to think harsh and critical thoughts. Sometimes as wives we are more inclined to concentrate on what our husbands are doing wrong than what they are doing right. We are more more aware of their deficiencies than areas that they excel in. . . . Rather we must focus on our husbands' many commendable qualities. As we do this, we will be amazed. We'll start to discover more and more qualities that we were failing to see because we were blinded by our critical thoughts.
from Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahoney
What is interesting is that we are quick to find "problems" in others (in this case our husbands) but slow to find fault in ourselves. We pray that God will change our husbands . . . to make them a better person, but in fact we ought to be finding ways to improve ourselves, to become more Godly women. Speaking about myself here:) I am certainly not perfect and must drive others up the wall with my deficiencies.
A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy.
from Love Has a Price by Elisabeth Elliot
The bible makes it very clear, after our relationship with God, our husbands comes next . . . our highest priority. We must focus on his needs rather than finding fault. Something I continue to learn every day.