Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.  Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years. 
Author Unknown

Our children can bring us much joy, they can also cause us much grief and sadness.  Teenagers are, well (very) difficult at times and I know many parents, me included who wish we could speed up the years so we can skip the teenage pains (or send them off to boot camp for a few years).  At times it can become a little too much.

I don't think any parents goes through the teenage years without a number of fights . . . when words are spoken and then regretted. They can be over the silliest of things . . . the one with my son was over cans in the cupboard (don't ask).  Someone asked me the other day the following question "if you could capture time, what age would you like you son to stay". . . my reply was "two".  They were so sweet at that age.  Innocent, funny and just gorgeous.  At 18, things have changed considerably and as a mother you discover that the sweet little boy of two has grown up and has an attitude that you may not like.  You no longer have any control over them and they do as they please.

Teenagers these days are far more likely to turn around and tell their parents what they think that they did in previous generations. I wonder if we have over-indulged our children, spoilt them, to many material things, given to them to many rights . . . I don't know the answer . . . but something has gone wrong that needs to be fixed.  I read in the newspaper that by age, most crimes are committed by 16 year olds and only on Saturday that my DH catch (with his friend) 3 teenagers running from a crime (burglary) who were then picked up by the police.

For me as a Christian mother, the only thing that gets me through those difficult "teenage" moments is by leaning on the Lord and saying "help".  It isn't a journey I can do on my own.  Don't get me wrong, my teenager can be an angel at times . . . but not all the time.

On a positive note . . . I am told that teenagers do grow up and become adults (like us) I just need to have patiences.



  1. After a trying time with a 10 year old grandson, today, I relate. Yes he can be gorgeous too, but today, for a while oh boy!!! I told him he is like two different people, sweet loving affectionate boy, then angry bitter bored early teenager. Yes how we all need the Lord's help to deal with life. Our sons and grandsons do too.

    God Bless - Nita

  2. It's to do with that bit of the brian that doesn't mature until they hit about 25 ~ which is why Jews couldn't serve in the temple before that age or see active military duty. They are brainless ~ for all practical purposes. Frankly they shouldn't have driver's lisences ~ but I digress.

    I don't think is is a materialistic thing because we never had much so certainly couldn't indulge our children that way, but I do think that our children have picked up from school & the media that they have *rights*. The problem is that they haven't heard the 2nd part of that message: with rights comes responsibility. It can be really hard to steer a ship where the passengers are all screaming about their *rights* but no~one is taking responsibility. Our twins are nearly 25 & finally showing signs of having some sense! Whew!

  3. Jo, I know what you mean!
    Something has definitely gone wrong and now everyone is paying for it.
    Teenage years seem to be when we 'lose' our kids for a while, as they go about trying to 'find' themselves.
    I always joked with my family about tying my boys to their bedposts until they turned 35 and got some sense :-)
    It's no joke though - rough times come to many of us during these transistional ages, and it can be very distressing.
    I know that if we did not have the Lord in our lives our little family would have been faced with tragedy by now.
    Praise God..He saw us through and is STILL seeing us through today!
    I will pray for you and your son.
    The most important thing is to keep communicating and nurturing a motherly closeness.
    That will help to give him a sense of stability amidst the mental and emotional confusion of these years.
    love in Jesus..Trish

  4. For the next 9 weeks we are having Teen Missions come to our church and evangelize in the area. It was so refreshing to see these young adults (17-24) on fire for the Lord. They were so fun to talk to and so focused on their calling. It's a far cry from most of the teens these days. But have hope that they are out there. Are they perfect? Probably not but their hearts are right and that's a great start!

    Have a fabulous day.

  5. My teenagers can be a real handful and rather aggravating at times. I still remember being a teenager though (yes ... many many years ago) and can often relate to how they're feeling. Doesn't make it an easier to deal with, but does give me an understanding - not just an insight into how they are thinking but also an understanding as to why my parents reacted they way they did with me.

    By the way, Jo, you are a winner in my Baker's Delight giveaway. Just email me your postal address. (Go to my profile page and click 'email' on left hand side.)

  6. Mum-me, just sent you an email. I do remember being a teenager, I use to go into my bedroom, shut the door and read books my parents didn't approve of. I think I did a lot of sulking and was quite moody!! In the heat of an argument about tin cans, some of that common sense does go out of the window.

    It is so good to hear from other mothers and know that I am not alone with a teenager and that we all go through this problem.

  7. Ganeida – I couldn’t agree with you more – brainless is a good word. They also expect (demand) things NOW – they don’t seem to understand the meaning of waiting. My son and I have been in a long discussion about some shirts he wants (doesn’t need) – I have made him wait and he hates it. My 23 year old son is showing signs of growing up – some way to go yet, but certainly heading in the right direction.

  8. Glad to hear that my teenage son(nearly 15)is not alone with his attitude...

    Raising my three daughters into young adults was far easier than this one boy.

    He has his lovable moments too for which I am very thankful.

  9. Groan? Grin? 25 is still a long way off for my boys, by which time my grandchildren will have hit the "teen" years. I love something to look forward to :-)

  10. Hi Jo,
    I love your honesty, and I can relate to what your talking about. My son is now 21, but he still lives in our home so it can sometimes be a little challenging with 3 adults in the home especially when my husband and I still see him as a kid :o) . A doctor once told me that they will argue just to show their independence, and that the kids will always choose the person they feel the safest with to express their anger. My son never argued or talked back until he turned 16, and I've been told they grow out of this phase sometime in their twenties :o) . Oh, it's so hard being a mom sometimes when the child you have loved and adored can sometimes act so unkind, especially when I just had the flu, and he told me that I was being to dramatic, but then he got the same flu 24 hours later, and then apologized for being so insensitive to me. I really enjoyed your post!
    God bless you jo,

  11. Society's mentality/laws about a child's "rights", and yet their apparent (very noticeable) lack of maturity and responsibility while retaining those "rights" has a lot to do with the problems amongst adolescents, I think. I also think that the word "teenager" is a horrible word these days - it is automatically associated with brainlessness, and I think that expectation almost rubs off onto the adolescent. Dan and I refuse to have teenagers - they will be "young adults" in our house - absolutely NO association with worldly 'teenagehood' will be tolerated!
    I think another problem apart from a lack of responsibilty is that young people have SO many choices these days in EVERY part of their lives that they get bored of all of it and so an attitude grows. By the time they have hit the adolescent years most parents have allowed their children to experience almost everything and anything the kid wanted - nothing is associated with maturity and responsibility these days. FOr example there was a time when a young lady reached a certain age she started wearing pantyhose or started wearing her hair up (and other coming-of-age traditions) that helped kids to realise they were reaching a time of responsibility. Nowadays adolescents are not encouraged to make responsible decisions (nothing comes with consequences because someone or something is always there to pick up the mess) and stick with them, and what makes it worse is that even adults can't seem to be responsible or take responsibility.... or act their age! 50 year olds have no business dressing like, acting like or changing their looks in order to look like 18 year olds, in my opinion! If all of society is trying to look younger, where does that leave adolescents??? If no-one in society wants to take responsibility, why would an adolescent start trying to learn responsibility? And, in most cases, since when do mother and father even have the time to train up their children to actually mature? Life is a mad dash from one thing to the next - and when it's not a mad dash there's always the TV to stare at - and it certainly doesn't portray any level of responsibility either, in my opinon!!

    Anyway, you hit a "soap-box" topic for me - hope you don't mind my rambles!! ;)


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