Getting old

One of the reasons why I came on this trip was to visit my mother. She is almost 80 and has been in poor health for a number of years. However her physical and mental health has been deteriorating and on this trip I have found her the worst I have seen her. Seeing ones mother go into decline is such a sad thing. Your once healthy and vibrant mother, the person who taught you all that you know, cuddled you when you were sick, scolded you when you were naughty, baked your favourite cakes and took you on special outings is no longer able to do the most basic of things. I sat with my mum and just wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her it was all ok, but she doesn't think it is all ok, she is frightened and anxious and no longer has any control of what is happening around her. Instead of being mother and daughter, it is now the other way around. She sits in her chair so forlorn it breaks my heart as if it was my own child. Dad and I have been trying to encourage her to be positive and smile, but for her, everything looks so glum.

We will all find ourself in this position at some point, but nothing quite prepares us for it. We all want to remain independent and not need to rely on others, but most of us will need some help in our twilight years whether we want it or not.

We pray that changes to medication will make some differences and she bounces back, but we leave this all in the Lords hands as He know what He is doing.

I suppose watching ones parent decline in health is a very good reminded to make the most of our current lives, not wasting it away. We only have so long on this earth and therefore we need to use every minute - wisely if possible.

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2


  1. I'm sorry to hear she's deteriorated so badly. I'll always remember her as a strong person; old age can bring such sadness when a person's health and life seems to be taken out of their hands like that. :(
    You are right - this is a good reminder to make the most of our young years - the here and now.
    Will pray she finds peace and joy despite her circumstances...

    1. Both my devotional and bible reading (Psalm 19) were perfect this morning, calling out for help in those times of despair, when we feel so forlorn and alone, I will need to share the with my mum.

  2. "the person who taught you all that you know, cuddled you when you were sick, scolded you when you were naughty, baked your favourite cakes and took you on special outings "
    So true, Jo. Lovely memories of the one who has featured so prominently in you life.
    My parents are well into their eighties and very frail also. But is a pleasure and an honour to serve them who brought us up so unselfishly.
    Hope the meds help and I am sure your visit is a great comfort to her.

  3. That is such a hard thing to see. My parents are getting older too. Dad will be 80 this year and mom is 76. I thank the Lord that they are still in good health. I take each precious moment as it comes. Unfortunately my parents live in Maine and I'm in Florida so it makes it hard to see them regularly.
    Praying your mom finds some peace and comfort.

  4. Jo -

    I'm so sorry to hear that your mother is in such poor condition. I've watched my mother care for my grandmother, and know the toll that it takes. The greatest gift you can give to your mother is to love her and care for her just as she did for you many years ago. I pray that God will give all of you the strength to make it through this tough period.

  5. What a beautiful picture of your mother. It is strange, the reversal of roles as our parents age. I have caught a glimpse of the future with my own mother and I am scared; Scared that I won't get the opportunity to care for her, either because of her pride or because of the choices she is making right now.

    When we are young it seems as if we will never be old. Yet it comes. You are right. A good reminder to make the most of our days. I think of that even now as my children are no longer babies and I wonder when did they stop being a baby? It seemed to happen overnight.

    I love Psalm 19.

  6. Thankyou ladies. I'm off to spend the morning with my dad (we have been cleaning out the house of excess stuff) and will visit mum this afternoon. As it is a beautiful day we will take mum outside to get some sunshine. I pray that this will boast her spirits :).

  7. My mum is in her early seventies yet each year on her return from India I see changes in her of her getting older and it's tough! My heart goes out to you Jo.

  8. Your mother was a beautiful young lady, Jo. I think I see are resemblance to Clara, interestingly enough! :-)

    My heart goes out to you also as I've felt the pangs of this myself in the last few years watching my mother struggling with chronic pain issues. It's so hard. Life is short, and we don't know when the dependent years will begin for us. It's so important to remember that this life " even a
    vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and
    then vanisheth away." But, it's also important to remember that the life that is to come for us, through faith in Christ Jesus, is eternal and wonderful beyond the ability of our feeble minds to comprehend! This is not the end for us, it is only the beginning!

    1. The family resemblances runs through most of the women in our family. My mother is Clara's great Aunt so it isn't surprising.

      I am now at home after a week with my family - poor mum wasn't in the best of states when I left, but there isn't much we can do but leave it to the Lord in prayer.

    2. You resemble her too, but no surprise there. :-)

      Glad you made it safely home!

  9. Hi Joluise,
    Sorry to hear that your mum isn't doing too well.
    It's hard when this happens in the family.
    My mum lives with me because she is a bit frail...she is 95 and very independant....but there is a bit of role reversal too.
    She still feels she has to guide and train me even though I've been married nearly 50 years.
    Can be touchy moments.
    You're right ...we do have to treasure every moment with our parents and loved ones.
    God Bless
    Barb from Australia


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