Part 8: Dealing with a lousy day
I thought I would write a series called "Keeper of the home for busy ladies", in particular for those, like me, who work outside the house either full-time or part-time. However, we are all busy ladies and we all need as much encouragement as possible to get through the week in one piece.
Part 8: Dealing with a lousy day
We all have lousy days. It doesn't matter whether it is a mum/wife at home or one that goes of to work, some days just don't go to plan . . . they turn out horrible. By the end of the day we are grumpy, snappy, tired, worn-out and basically fed up. So what do you do? I usually cook something very simple for dinner that requires no brain power, followed by crawling onto the couch and up my feet up and watch something silly and try and recover.
Below are 10 tips for recovering from a lousy day. These aren't my bright ideas (I wish they were), but I liked them enough to share them with you. They are from the website "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin who wrote the book of the same name. So thanks Gretchen for these great ideas.
1. Resist the urge to “treat” yourself. Often, the things we choose as “treats” aren’t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day. So when you find yourself thinking, “I’ll feel better after I have a a pint of ice cream ask yourself – will it REALLY make you feel better? It might make you feel worse.
2. Do something nice for someone else - it creates a distraction and makes someone else happy and that in turn makes you feel less lousy.
3. Distract yourself. Watching a funny movie or TV show is a great way to take a break, or I often re-read beloved classics of children’s literature. It gets your mind off the "problem" and you feel much better afterwards.
4. Stay in contact. When you’re having a lousy day, it’s tempting to retreat into isolation. Studies show, though, that contact with other people boosts mood. So try to see or talk to people, especially people you’re close to.
5. It’s a clichĆ©, but things really will look brighter in the morning. Go to bed early and start the next day anew. Also, sleep deprivation puts a drag on mood in the best of circumstances, so a little extra sleep will do you good.
6. Keep perspective. Ask yourself: “Will this matter in a month? In a year?” even tomorrow.
7. Be grateful. Remind yourself that a lousy day isn’t a catastrophic day. Be grateful that you’re still on the “lousy” spectrum. Probably, things could be worse.
8. Write it down. When something horrible is consuming my mind, I find that if I write up a paragraph or two about the situation, I get immense relief.
9. Tell yourself, “Well, at least I…” Get some things accomplished. Yes, you had a horrible day, but at least you went to the gym, or played with your kids, or walked the dog, or read your children a story, or recycled.
10. Exercise is an extremely effective mood booster – but be careful of exercise that allows you to ruminate. For example, if I go for a walk when I’m upset about something, I often end up feeling worse, because the walk provides me with uninterrupted time in which to dwell obsessively on my troubles.
Here are a couple of ones I would add to the list:
1. Resist the urge to “treat” yourself. Often, the things we choose as “treats” aren’t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day. So when you find yourself thinking, “I’ll feel better after I have a a pint of ice cream ask yourself – will it REALLY make you feel better? It might make you feel worse.
2. Do something nice for someone else - it creates a distraction and makes someone else happy and that in turn makes you feel less lousy.
3. Distract yourself. Watching a funny movie or TV show is a great way to take a break, or I often re-read beloved classics of children’s literature. It gets your mind off the "problem" and you feel much better afterwards.
4. Stay in contact. When you’re having a lousy day, it’s tempting to retreat into isolation. Studies show, though, that contact with other people boosts mood. So try to see or talk to people, especially people you’re close to.
5. It’s a clichĆ©, but things really will look brighter in the morning. Go to bed early and start the next day anew. Also, sleep deprivation puts a drag on mood in the best of circumstances, so a little extra sleep will do you good.
6. Keep perspective. Ask yourself: “Will this matter in a month? In a year?” even tomorrow.
7. Be grateful. Remind yourself that a lousy day isn’t a catastrophic day. Be grateful that you’re still on the “lousy” spectrum. Probably, things could be worse.
8. Write it down. When something horrible is consuming my mind, I find that if I write up a paragraph or two about the situation, I get immense relief.
9. Tell yourself, “Well, at least I…” Get some things accomplished. Yes, you had a horrible day, but at least you went to the gym, or played with your kids, or walked the dog, or read your children a story, or recycled.
10. Exercise is an extremely effective mood booster – but be careful of exercise that allows you to ruminate. For example, if I go for a walk when I’m upset about something, I often end up feeling worse, because the walk provides me with uninterrupted time in which to dwell obsessively on my troubles.
Here are a couple of ones I would add to the list:
- a long hot bubble bath whilst listening to classical music
- sitting on the couch with your husband with calm music playing in the background and candles scenting the room
- an evening stroll with your husband and watch the sunset
- talk with your husband about your day . . . boxing up your problems does help at all . . . a marriage is all about sharing our good and our bad and getting through them together
But the one that Gretchen doesn't include and the most important of all . . . have a private conversation with God, He is waiting to hear from you and hear all about your day. By the end of the conversation and I sure you will feel 100% better.
And remember, tomorrow is another day and it is bound to be brighter
Joy cometh in the morning
Joy cometh in the morning
Psalm 30:5
Casting all your care upon Him;
for He careth for you.
for He careth for you.
1 Peter 5:7
Yet more great advice, Jo - thank you for passing this on! The problem with feeling lousy is that we forget the things that make us feel better - but I'll try to remember these things next time! :)
ReplyDeleteThese are some great tips! I know I've had my share of lousy days and the Lord always helps when I ask Him! :)
ReplyDeletei just love this post! its like you read my mind...its exactly what im exercising now...aleluya...indeed trying to stay in a good mood is not something comes just like that but we have on purpose to do it..i just love this...thanks for sharing..i needed to hear this..blessings soraya
ReplyDeleteHi Jo-- you've given some great advice here-- I really like the part about not treating ourself-- thats always such a temptation isn't it? I really love the advice to turn the day around by doing something nice for someone else--- wonderful advice!
ReplyDeleteLove
Vicki
Thankyou ladies for your kind words:) you are all wonderful blogging friends, full of encouragement and joy.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you all. And I pray that you aren't having a lousy day.
Today was a lousy day. I used solution number 10 and took a brisk walk...with the source of the lousyness. We both felt much better afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI treated myself too!! I do not feel guilty though.
Sad to hear about you lousy day but pleased that I could help in some small way:) I have had a nice day, but I will be treating myself to a small chocolate brownie!!!
DeleteSmiles :)
great post Jolouise, thanks so much for sharing it love the last one best as truly He is the God of all comfort and His understanding is infinite - He cares when no-one else does, Shaz in oz.x
ReplyDeletePS may I suggest turning off word verification this is my second go and hope it works it is so frustrating and really not necessary as blogger is very good at picking up spam. like post above too on books but wont comment on it as well because of word verification.
Your message worked fine here - I didn't know it was on as it never asks me to do anything, will turn it off and I hope it works better. Can you try again?
Delete