Do not commit adultery.
An "unforgiving, puritan Anglo-Saxon" attitude to adultery is damaging married life in Britain, driving couples to divorce rather than strengthening the family, according to an outspoken academic. Catherine Hakim, argues that a "sour and rigid English view" of infidelity is condemning millions of people to live frustrated "celibate" lives with their spouses. In a book bound to provoke controversy, she likens faithful husbands and wives to "caged animals" and argues that they should be free to explore their "wild side" with lovers without the threat of divorce.
Meeting a secret lover for a casual encounter should be as routine as dining out at a restaurant instead of eating at home.
By Catherine Hakim, British social scientist
Affairs - no, I am not having one and have no desire to have one. But I have worked with married men who have had affairs with women. I often wonder what their wives know and how I would feel if I knew my husband was having an affair. On particular man I knew was having several affairs one after the other and I knew when he went out at lunchtime what he was up to. And to make it worse, his wife would call and I had to say that he wasn't in the office. I found it all very very sad, especially considering they had a young child, a little girl. How can people treat those they confess to love in such a way.
A liaison outside marriage is harmless - even healthy - has become so widely accepted there's a website devoted to facilitating adulterous liaisons. In Australia alone, more than 400,000 people are actively seeking affairs online. They are paid-up members of infidelity dating website Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison has become so successful its Canadian owner believes it will soon become the world's most popular dating website. (source - Sydney Morning Herald)
To think that 400,000 Australians have made a decision to paid money to join an on-line dating agency that encourages married men and women to have an affair is very sad. They have actively decided to have an affair. This is how acceptable affairs have become.
There is nothing good about affairs - at all. In fact it is very clear in the Bible - do not commit adultery. Simple. What this website is doing is encouraging married men and women to commit adultery and say that it is OK to do - its fine, no one gets hurt. It isn't. No thought is given to the spouse who knows nothing of what is happening. Or the children who will be become the innocent victims. Does the agency feel any guilt when these affairs lead to divorce, custody battles and result in traumatised children. No, of course not.
The website's founder and chief executive, Noel Biderman, says he isn't out to encourage affairs, he's just providing a safe environment to those who have already decided they want one. . . . Since its launch in 2002, Ashley Madison has attracted more than 15 million members in 25 countries. A new person is said to join every six seconds.
But what I find interesting, according to the Bible, adultery isn't only about having sex with someone, it also includes looking lustfully at a woman (or man) who is not your husband or wife - that too is committing adultery . . . That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. (Matthew 5:28). Anyone reading or looking at porn is falling into this category (including all those women reading "50 Shades of Grey") or anyone going crazy over an actor or singer (how many young teenagers do that these days). Women are flocking to see a new movie called "Magic Mick", why, because it contains naked men in a strip tease scene - these women want to look lustfully at the naked men. Deliberately going just for that scene. What does that say about today's woman? And our men? That looking lustfully at someone or committing adultery is now ok.
But whoso committeth adultery with
a woman lacketh understanding:
he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.