Husbands, are they a full-time career?


In some quarters it is strongly believed (quite ardently) that the modern working woman is neglecting her husband and to not neglect one's husband, a wife needs/must be at home 24/7.

Is caring and serving ones husband is a full-time career? Is this really true?

After I read this I wondered how my husband was being neglected as I am one of those "modern" working women. I am not being flippant here, I really want to know what else I should be doing that a woman at home is doing and I'm not?  I have worked most of our marriage and so far he doesn't look very neglected, in fact he is looking very healthy and not bad for his age!

  • he gets all his meals home-cooked from scratch and (generally) on time each night (healthy, whether he wants healthy or not!!)
  • his  house is clean and tidy and everything is put away
  • the washing is done regularly and he never runs out of socks or jocks unless he has hidden them and I can't find them
  • the groceries are bought on time and dear husband never runs out of his favourites such as bread, cheese and milk
  • treats are supplied on a regular basis (except I won't buy him the hotdog machine that he really wants as I am sure it will only encourage unhealthy eating!!)
  • the bills are paid - he never needs to think about them
  • run errands when required 
  • listen to his ideas to change the world (!) or read things he has written
  • bedroom activities whenever
  • and if he needs me, he can always call me. 

So far I can't see what more I can do for him as all his needs seem to be met - but I might be wrong.  What sorts of things do for your husband?

None of these things are rocket science, they are all part of being married I would have thought. My husband does lots of things for me too - he loves to vacuum (don't know why!), he mends things that have broken, he puts things together that come in flat packs, he dries the dishes in the evenings (sometimes), he takes the dogs for their walk early in the morning  (whilst I lie in bed) etc.... We do things for each other, isn't this what married life is all about?

Is caring/serving ones husband a full-time job, no, not really, he is an adult and can look after himself to a large extent.  One doesn't need to be at home all the time as far as I can see unless he had a disability or illness, but that is something quite different. 

I am a strong believer in husbands being able to do things themselves, such as prepare meals, clean, wash clothes, buy food - as one never knows when they will need these skills. When my mother suffered her stroke, my dad became a full-time carer, he had to cook, clean and wash + go shopping and buy women's clothing and the like. Men can't be treated like babies and need to be able to do things themselves.  It can creates all sorts of issues later one.

Ok, will get off my soap box on this one!!


Comments

  1. LOL, Jo!!!
    I do NOT stay home 24/7 to look after my husband... If a husband needs his wife to be home 24/7 because he can't look after himself, he probably needs to learn to do a few things for himself. But I think it's a little different if he *wants* to have her stay home (because he wants to look after her and provide for the family himself) and she's happy to do that, or if there's children to care for at home. :)

    SOME women really do struggle to do both - you do an extraordinary job of being both a wife and having a job, but some women just CAN'T do both and have enough energy and motivation to be the kind of wife she should/wants to be.

    This issue I think is a very personal one, and it can depend on the kind of job the wife has as well. Extremely demanding jobs can be so wearying that they can take too much out of a wife (but the same can be said of the husband, too - if he comes home completely drained, with nothing left to offer his wife/family, then he needs to reassess as well!!). :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not extraordinary at all in what I do, lots and lots of men and women do it every day and when one has to do it, one does.

      Many men work very long hours and often come home well after the children have eaten and had their baths leaving dad with very little time with the children. I think its all about balance (or work and home) for both husbands and wives.

      Families should do what is best for them and no one rule works for all families. But with mum and dad both adults - chores should be shared between them if the children are young so no one is exhausted at the end of the day.

      Delete
  2. Think you have covered all angles, so I will not comment further. Although I do think were at all possible (and usually it isn't possible these days, in this country anyway) Mums are best at home with young children.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Nita, I don't have any young children - my sons are all grown up and have left home. Its just my husband and I (empty nesters) and that means he gets lots of my attention which he only has to share with the cat!! In fact now that we are empty nesters, he is far more spoilt than every before as I have even more time without young children.

      Thanks for stopping by:))

      Delete
  3. Ahhhhhh-- yes! Although--- I'm very blest to have a wonderful guy. Since he is retired and I still work-- he takes care of the shopping- laundry-- most of the cleaning. I feel like a kept woman-- lol. But after it's all said and done--- he's still a man. Say no more-- lol!

    Xoxo
    Vicki

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My husband is also retired (he is much older than me) and does lots of things around the house but I still do the cooking and shopping as he isn't very good at it (ssssh, don't tell anyone!!). At the moment he is setting up my study - finishing off the painting etc.. it is so handy having him at home - especially if I have forgotten to take the meat out of the freezer, I just give him a call!!!

      Blessings.

      PS the Cat (Ruby) loves having him at home.

      Delete
  4. One must be at her husbands neck and call. She must be submissive in every regard. God comes before the husband, so we do not work Most men love being attended to every second of every day.

    I wish you the utmost happiness... and pray your eyes will open to God's will.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My husband is a lovely man and doesn't want me to wait upon him every second of the day, he is very happy to make his own cup of tea and do things himself. He would think i was treating him like a child if I was hoovering over him every second of the day. He is happy with what I do and loves the fact that I am happy in my career. The bible doesn't say that women must not work, but we all must find balance in our lives and put priorities on what we do. God is very much in my life and through prayers He found me suitable work that does fit into our lives. I feel truly blessed by the Lords provisions. I am doing Gods will. He also gives me the energy that I need each day and that too is a blessing provided by God.

      Delete
  5. I totally agree with what you said - that men need to learn to do these things for themselves!
    I work and yep our home suffers on the days that I work because I'm not cleaning or washing as much as I should - but phef, there's more to life than cleaning and cooking!
    My husband definitely does his fair share of jobs around the home - washing, cooking when I'm late home, gardening etc.
    And to be honest, we need his help around the home as much as we need the extra income that I provide by working part of the week - our home is about doing things 'together' - so together we run the home and together we earn the income :-) Fair! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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