Full-time/part-time mothers



She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

(Prov 31:26-27)

My mother is turning 82 this year. She is a nursing home as she needs 24 hour care. Whilst I can no longer have long conversations with her and our relationship has change considerably since I was a child, she is still 100% my mother and that will never change. I don't think of her as a part-time mother, or less of a mother due to her age, disability or the fact she is in a nursing home. She is still my mother no matter what and I love her just as much as when I was a little girl. 

My sons are adults and have left home. Even though they are all grown up, they know I am contactable 24/7 and always available for them. I am still their mother 100% and still a full-time mother even though they are not living at home.  I am full-time because I am available to meet their needs no matter how small or how big at any time of the day or night. That is what makes a full-time mother. I am always on call and will be until I am too old to do anything. I am like the emergency facility at the hospital, always waiting to help in any way I can.  That is what makes a mother. 

My children attended public school and even at school they knew I would always respond to their needs and if they needed me I would come.  If they were sick, I would stay at home with them. If they needed help with their homework, I would always help, if they needed to talk about their day, I was there for them. Yes, there are some mothers who should not be mothers, but most mothers are on call 24/7 whether they are working, their children are attending school, or they are all grown up and left home. 

Motherhood doesn't stop when a woman goes to work or when she gets old. 

We are all 100% full-time mothers. It would break my mothers heart if I told her otherwise. 

It doesn't matter how old a mother is, they never loose the title of mother. Even when a mother looses a child, she still remains a mother. A mother is more than the number of hours she spend with her child, it is the unconditional love she show. Whilst my mother no longer needs to care for me, she still loves me unconditionally and that is what sets a mother aside from everyone else. A mothers love is something unique, one of a kind, special, comes in bucket loads and never ending. 


"When you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know" (Charley Benetto)


Working mothers are still mothers and shouldn't be seen as part-time mothers because they are not home 24 hours a day. Working mothers are not lesser mothers. Because with this argument, you are also saying that elderly mothers are also lesser mothers and that is not true.  It is so far from being true.

We are all mothers doing the very best we can. 


To my children: If you need me, call me. I don't care if I'm sleeping, if I'm having my own problems or if I've been angry with you. If you need me and if you need to talk, l'll always be there for you. No matter how big or small your problem is 

. . . I'll be there. 

(author unknown, from Pinterest) 


I just loved these "letters" by "The healthy doctor blog" (from Melbourne, Australia): A letter from a Working Mother to a Stay-at-Home Mother, and vice versa.

Whilst you may not all agree with these sentiments, I think it really does sum it all up - we are ALL MOTHERS doing extraordinary jobs bringing up our children, often when life isn't going as smoothly as one might wish. Lets support each other rather than trying to push the other down, lets show sisterly love and kindness.

To mothers everywhere - young and old, new and experienced 

xxx

****

Comments

  1. And when they go to Heaven you miss them horribly! Because NO ONE cares for you the way a mother does - and that is all there is to it! No other woman loves you as your mother does, she can't!

    While being available 24/7 is exhausting, it also has its high points - akin to climbing Mount Everest in my opinion - like little arms wrapping around you, little voices thanking God for you, little voices thanking you for preparing meals for you, etc, etc! I do love being a Mummy! =)

    love,
    Bets

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    1. Even when a mother has gone, they are still your mother - it is a very privileged position to have:)) I can completely understand the Mount Everest climb, however at times it is 2 steps up the mountain and a rapid slid back. Then you shake yourself off and start again!! Whilst there are moments that are so tough you want to throw in the towel - it doesn't take long to realise you never would or will.

      xx

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  2. What a lovely way to put it. As a mother I think most mothers want their children to feel they are there when ever they need them to be. I hope my kids will look back at my life and see that I tried to go out of my way to be there for them!

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    1. Thanks Tracy - I think you only realise what your mother has done when you are much older and a parent yourself, so I don't expect my sons to understand all the effort I've put into their lives for many years!

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  3. Hi Jo,
    Though I am an advocate of being a stay at home mother when humanly possible (only God and you know the truth in that), I must say that my mine was NOT and there was (and is still to me) no finer mother in all the world. Thanks for linking up with us.

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    1. My children are now all grown up and no longer live at home, that doesn't stop me from taking them to appointments (as I am this morning) etc... which means taking time off work. I have always made sure my place of employment was flexible and family friendly so having time off is easy. If women do need to work (and many do) it's important to find family friendly places. My mother worked as a teacher, regardless she was an excellent mother and always found time for us and created a loving and beautiful home for us. Looking back, she really did put in 110% of her energy into us and dad.

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    2. I have no doubt! My mother was (and still is) the same as you are, always available. We happen to have a family member who gave up their little baby to child-care recently because "they can not afford for mother not work" (their own words). But, they have all the grown up toys such as motor homes, boats, and lavish vacations. I think baby would trade that lifestyle for mother any day. There is a difference between really needing to work, and keeping up with the American Dream. I am sure we can both agree on that... Let's store our treasures in heaven :) such as our children...

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  4. It is incredible the bond that exists between a mother and her children... And you really don't understand it fully until (i) your mother dies, or (ii) you have children yourself. It is indescribable. And I think it also helps us understand God's love better too - as a mother, you know the love of a parent to a child, and it helps you to get a little grasp on the kind of way God must love us as our Father - never resting, always vigilantly watching over us and wanting to bless us and help us become the kind of person He wants us to be just as we vigilantly watch over our children, want to bless them and help raise them to be a certain kind of person when they are grown.

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    1. I hadn't thought of it the way you described but is so true. It's also how He looks after us, boundless love that never ends. We need to trust the Lord the same way a baby trusts their mother

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  5. Thank you for this post - it bought a little tear to my eye! xxx

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    1. I was thinking of women like you when I was writing it:))) women like you , my mum and other close friends didn't and don't work to buy the second car or boat , they work hard for their families and we should be do proud of you all . Sadly there are women who give us a bad name by their career driven aspirations at the expense of their families.

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