Are you a sober woman?

Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. (1 Timothy 3:11)

That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (Titus 2:2)

But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer. (1 Peter 4:7)

Do you get the feeling that we as Christians need to be sober. There are plenty of verses telling us just that.  

I remember reading these verses as a much younger woman and thinking "that doesn't sound like much fun". And at face value it sounds like a very serious, solemn woman who know nothing about enjoying herself. So what does it mean to be a "sober (sensible) woman" in the 21st century when most women (and men) are anything but. 

Ultimately it means that she is has strong self-control and able to curb her passions. She is a sensible woman who is not silly, giggly, crude, obnoxious or vulgar in her behaviour or language. She is calm, discrete, guarded (not a gossiper), sound-minded, self-disciplined, prudent, thoughtful, charitable, patient and she thinks before she acts. She doesn't conform to the patterns of this world and she stands out from modern women both in her actions and by her behaviour.  

We see such a woman in Proverbs 31, verse 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.  You can't imagine the woman of Proverbs 31 being silly or out of  control, selfish or lacking in consideration for others and she would never berate her husband in public or yell at her children in the supermarket for being naughty. Even when cross, she remains in control.

Being sober doesn't mean being boring or dull. It is about creating a godly women that is in control, who has order in all aspects of her life, a woman very much in charge of running her household, caring for her children and being her husband's helpmate. She is a very strong and reliable woman who can withstand the bombardment from our ungodly society and the stresses of everyday life where anything goes. 

According to Martha Peace in "Becoming a Titus 2 Woman", a sober women . . . show love to others by acting properly as they rejoice in every day that the Lord has made. Their dress, attitude, and behaviour are pleasing to the Lord. They are a modernised version of the "holy women of old" (1 Peter 3:5). A sober woman is one that wants to please the Lord and therefore takes extra special care about how she behaves and how she treats others.

Being sober is considered so important, older women are instructed to teach younger women how to be sober (among other things) in Titus 2:3-5

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.

Why would this be important - because how can a young mother and wife take on their serious responsibilities if they are acting silly, frivolous, lack discipline or easily distracted by the world. Young women need to exercise control over their actions, their thoughts, and their emotions so that they are not easy targets of the world and its the role of older women to guide them through this. The world is full of temptations and for some young women the pull is very strong unless they have someone watching out for them, such as a sober-minded older woman.  But how can an older woman do this, if they themselves are poor role models. Sadly, there is a declining number of older women who are sober-minded to take up the mantel which means we have young women with no one to teach them biblical instructions and how to live sensibly and that can be devastating.

However, it is important to stress that a sober woman does not mean one can not have fun, or laugh or enjoying themselves. Of course women should laugh and laugh lots - we all know that laughter is good for our health. What it does means though is being watchful at what we laugh at e.g. a crude or unpleasant joke at work or laughing at someone's misfortune. Likewise there is nothing wrong with have fun but it is the sort of fun we have that matters - selecting the right company to have fun with, being able to remain in control and not becoming over-indulgnent, loud, unpleasant and "dancing on table tops" kind of woman and if you do choose to drink alcohol, you drink in moderation - a drunk woman is NOT a pretty godly woman. 

So, to summarise - we all need to be mindful of how we behave at home and in public. We can still have fun and laugh and be a little silly at times - BUT remember that we need to be in control, disciplined in our actions and not follow the world with their "let it all hangout "attitude. Being a sober woman is being a sensible woman in all aspects of their lives.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age. 

(Titus 2:11-12)

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