Are you a sober woman?

Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. (1 Timothy 3:11)

That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (Titus 2:2)

But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer. (1 Peter 4:7)

Do you get the feeling that we as Christians need to be sober. There are plenty of verses telling us just that.  

I remember reading these verses as a much younger woman and thinking "that doesn't sound like much fun". And at face value it sounds like a very serious, solemn woman who know nothing about enjoying herself. So what does it mean to be a "sober (sensible) woman" in the 21st century when most women (and men) are anything but. 

Ultimately it means that she is has strong self-control and able to curb her passions. She is a sensible woman who is not silly, giggly, crude, obnoxious or vulgar in her behaviour or language. She is calm, discrete, guarded (not a gossiper), sound-minded, self-disciplined, prudent, thoughtful, charitable, patient and she thinks before she acts. She doesn't conform to the patterns of this world and she stands out from modern women both in her actions and by her behaviour.  

We see such a woman in Proverbs 31, verse 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.  You can't imagine the woman of Proverbs 31 being silly or out of  control, selfish or lacking in consideration for others and she would never berate her husband in public or yell at her children in the supermarket for being naughty. Even when cross, she remains in control.

Being sober doesn't mean being boring or dull. It is about creating a godly women that is in control, who has order in all aspects of her life, a woman very much in charge of running her household, caring for her children and being her husband's helpmate. She is a very strong and reliable woman who can withstand the bombardment from our ungodly society and the stresses of everyday life where anything goes. 

According to Martha Peace in "Becoming a Titus 2 Woman", a sober women . . . show love to others by acting properly as they rejoice in every day that the Lord has made. Their dress, attitude, and behaviour are pleasing to the Lord. They are a modernised version of the "holy women of old" (1 Peter 3:5). A sober woman is one that wants to please the Lord and therefore takes extra special care about how she behaves and how she treats others.

Being sober is considered so important, older women are instructed to teach younger women how to be sober (among other things) in Titus 2:3-5

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.

Why would this be important - because how can a young mother and wife take on their serious responsibilities if they are acting silly, frivolous, lack discipline or easily distracted by the world. Young women need to exercise control over their actions, their thoughts, and their emotions so that they are not easy targets of the world and its the role of older women to guide them through this. The world is full of temptations and for some young women the pull is very strong unless they have someone watching out for them, such as a sober-minded older woman.  But how can an older woman do this, if they themselves are poor role models. Sadly, there is a declining number of older women who are sober-minded to take up the mantel which means we have young women with no one to teach them biblical instructions and how to live sensibly and that can be devastating.

However, it is important to stress that a sober woman does not mean one can not have fun, or laugh or enjoying themselves. Of course women should laugh and laugh lots - we all know that laughter is good for our health. What it does means though is being watchful at what we laugh at e.g. a crude or unpleasant joke at work or laughing at someone's misfortune. Likewise there is nothing wrong with have fun but it is the sort of fun we have that matters - selecting the right company to have fun with, being able to remain in control and not becoming over-indulgnent, loud, unpleasant and "dancing on table tops" kind of woman and if you do choose to drink alcohol, you drink in moderation - a drunk woman is NOT a pretty godly woman. 

So, to summarise - we all need to be mindful of how we behave at home and in public. We can still have fun and laugh and be a little silly at times - BUT remember that we need to be in control, disciplined in our actions and not follow the world with their "let it all hangout "attitude. Being a sober woman is being a sensible woman in all aspects of their lives.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age. 

(Titus 2:11-12)

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Comments

  1. Thank you. In Dutch 'sober' has two different explanations. In my language sober means being alert as a watchman on a city wall. Very nice how you describe it. Sometimes I get discouraged when I see myself. But if I focus my eyes on Jesus, I'll follow Him again in my household and parenting and other things. God bless you and your blog!

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    1. I like the meaning you have in Dutch - very true, a watchman of the city wall - what an important and serious job. That puts quite a different spin on it :) Thank you so much for your kind words.

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  2. This is such an important thing to remember. This world is all about self-gratification and "fun", but while enjoyment is something God created for us (after all, He made things to be pleasurable), Christians are called to be different from the world.... and this can certainly be seen in the way Christians are (or should be) sober - without soberness we would find it impossible to obey God, and we would never see the gravity of sin and the desperate need of people in this world for a Saviour. Such a timely reminder, Jo. Such an important thing to teach our children, too.

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    1. me, me and more me and little or no concern about anyone else. I think this is why people run around taking photos of themselves as they are so self-interested and wrapped up in themselves. Its all very sad.

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  3. Hello Jo, This word (Sober) does seem rather stern, but as we know we must look at the whole word in its fullest meaning!
    Because I love to laugh and enjoy my days! Life is so precious! May you have a great week!
    Yours, Roxy

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    1. So glad you love to laugh as I do to!! It really is good for our health and keeps us young so we mustn't stop. Have a lovely week. Its hard to believe that tomorrow is Thursday, my week is almost gone .

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  4. It's unfortunate that "sober" has such a somber, dour connotation, but I think you did a very good job describing what is meant by it. Good post Jo.

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    1. I can just imagine a serious sober woman - one wearing very severe clothing and not breaking into a smile !! Who would want to be like that, but its a lot more and I think its badly explained or ignored this days in church.

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  5. Like Roxy, I enjoy laughing and enjoying this life within the boundaries of my Lord's guidance. Being sober does not mean becoming a sour person...instead, the boundaries allow us freedoms to be ourselves without the idea of how others wants us to be. I live this life quite abundantly ... again filtered through the words of Our Lord. Thanks for sharing Jo. I am new here :0)

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    1. No, sour is rather an unpleasant woman and certainly not sober! I think most of us are sober ladies, we perhaps didn't realise it. Thanks so much for visiting, lovely to meet you :)

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  6. Great post. Well worded. Good on you!
    love,
    Bets

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  7. Good thoughts.... our society leans to the foolish side, not the sober. We need to be settled in our walk w/ the Lord. Thank you for sharing this. :)

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    1. So true, sillyness is the new norm but not ours :))

      God bless .

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  8. This is an excellent post! I am thinking that it is so good to be rid of our foolishness, in exchange for more of God's deep persevering joy ( a fruit of the Spirit ). I still have so much to learn, but being sober to me, would be seriously studying how to genuinely love & encourage someone, as opposed to focusing on ourselves in order to impress or entertain them. I think God knows women very well....how easily we are attracted to the "entertainments" of the world & pleasing ourselves, rather than seriously & prayerfully carrying out the duties of life with the abundant joy that a close relationship with the Lord gives. However, you covered the subject very well! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

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    1. Thankyou for your comment. I think for most women, being a sober woman, is a life of learning as it doesn't necessarily come easy to all.

      Blessings

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