50 Shades of Grey: glamorizes sexual violence

I don't think I need to remind any of you that "50 Shades of Grey" (book and movie) should be avoided . . . completely.  It is pornography and as Christian women, we must stay away from this sort of literature. But what disturbs me even more is the fact that millions of women around the world love this book (over 100 million copies have been sold in 50 languages) and they find it erotic and exciting (many say it has improved their sex life no end), when the truth is . . .  it glamorises sexual violence and tells men it is ok to dominate women in an abusive manner.  

“While millions of women are fantasizing about the controlling and abusive Christian Grey of fiction, there are many other women dealing with the horrors of actually living with men like him.” (source: Bible Society)

Australia, like the USA and other countries around the world have a major problem with domestic violence. Some men think it is perfectly acceptable to emotionally, psychologically and physical abuse women . . . to threaten, batter, humiliate, degrade, entrap, isolate, coerce, manipulate and torture. The statistics are both tragic and sobering; in Australia: 

• 1 in 5 women have experienced sexual violences
• 1 in 4 women have experienced emotional abuse
• 1 in 3 women have experienced physical violence
• 73% have experienced more than one incident of violence
• 61% had children in their care when the violence occurred

One woman every week in Australia dies as a result of domestic violence and that figure is unacceptable. This year is following the same pattern as every other year . . . with women still dying every week. One woman was hunted down at her workplace and killed in the carpark. 

As the Bible Society say on their webpage . . . "What have we done to ourselves as a society that tying a woman up and beating her till she's bruised and bleeding is a popular thing to watch?" 

What have we turned into? 

Hollywood continues down the path of normalising violence and saying it is ok. However this film goes a dangerous step further, it says it is ok to do this to women without consent and for sexual pleasure.

The film is about to be released and both younger and older women will flock to see it and without a doubt teenage girls will also watch it (and be influenced by it) even though it has a R rating. It tells women that "mummy" pornography is acceptable in society. 

It isn't, no matter how you package it and what you call it.

Porn is addictive and dangerous for both men and women. However, porn, as found in "50 Shades", is twisted and abusive. Violence is violence and sexual violence is unacceptable in society. It tells men that women enjoy this sort of sexual behaviour as exhibited in "50 Shades" and without a doubt some men will think it is acceptable to treat their wives, girlfriends and one-night-sexual encounters in this manner. Considering the level of domestic violence we already have in society, men need to learn to respect women and when participating in sexual activities to show love, care, thoughtfulness and tenderness and certainly not what is portrayed in "50 shades" which is SO wrong.  

"The popularity of "Fifty Shades of Grey" among women also sends a message to men that unrestrained domination is what women want.  This is glamorization of violence and abuse. Society pays a price when we teach men to be turned on by women in pain. As a result, sexual violence is on the rise in our military, colleges, families and on the street. When violence is made to be sexy, it is no wonder that these are the consequences." (source: Fox News)

As the Fox News article says "this is not entertainment or a fairy tale, as Hollywood is claiming. This is the glamorisation of violence and abuse". So why on earth would any sane woman choose to watch it (or read it)? And to make it even more scary, books two and three of the series are being planned for the movies. 

There are many things wrong with "50 Shades of Grey" . . . but my biggest dislike is the normalisation of violence against a young woman. That makes me feel ill. This film is not about empowering women, it is not about romances or sexiness and has nothing to do with love. It contains rape and violence, humiliation and degradation. it is toxic to say the least. A sexual relationship should never be based on these things, and whilst I see nothing wrong with discussing sex and making it a conversation rather than hiding it away, lets not make it ugly and nasty. 

Girls . . . ladies, men; when looking for love and what it SHOULD look like, turn no further than 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. This isn't found in "50 Shades of Grey". 

I will end this with a quote from a non-Christian website (Mamamia): ". . . It’s also about an incredibly disturbing and manipulative emotionally abusive relationship. So, about half an hour into last night’s screening, I found myself doing a horrified double-take. I quite suddenly realised that I was watching a film that glorified domestic abuse."

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Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 

(Philippians 4:8)

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