An excellent wife: Taking care of our husbands

I wrote a post back in 2014 about taking care of our menfolk, as for many, life has been tough recently. Many men, unemployment is real, they are seeing a decline in industries that they have worked in for decades  (i.e. the decline in the manufacturing industry) and many feel disenchanted with current politics, in fact many feel completely ignored and forgotten. They do the best they can for their families, but they are feeling the pain a great deal. 

We have seen the evidence of this with the results of the current US election — of those men who voted for Trump many were white middle to older men outside of the major urban centres. These are the men who feel the most forgotten, feel as if they are no longer in control, unable to find suitable employment, having to work multiple jobs to make ends meet or seeing that their area of employment is shrinking and no one coming to their aid. They feel as if governments have abandoned them and they have looked elsewhere to find answers. This has happened in Australia and elsewhere. No longer do many feel that conventional politicians can solve their problems. 

Whilst I cannot promise that the new administration will be able to solve any of the problems these men want addressed, us women can do something. We need to accept that our menfolk are not necessarily doing fine. That the long hours at work and working multiple jobs is not good for their health, long term. 

Men working long hours, often in places that have inflexible or non-family friendly conditions are not doing themselves or their families any good. It slowly affects their health, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. Have you ever wondered why more men die from heart attacks than women? It might sound noble for them to invest many hours in their careers (or undertake several jobs to meet the financial demands of the home) but it isn’t a wise thing to do and us women need to look out for them. 

Not only do our menfolk have demanding hours at work (some with unpleasant bosses and work situations) they also have the stressors of bills and the mortgage to consider plus meeting all their home duties such as mowing the lawn and fixing a tap etc.. Wives need to be vigilant and help in anyway we can.  We can:

  • we can be frugal, reduce waste and be wise with the finances
  • we can make sure our husbands eat healthy home cooked meals
  • that they have a good nights rest
  • plenty of fresh air and exercise
  • make sure our homes are a place of comfort and retreat (not messy and noisy when our husband comes home)
  • not bombarding our husband's with demands and questions when he walks through the door
  • reduce arguments and unreasonableness in the home by guarding our hearts and tongues
  • offer encouragement, hugs ….
but sometimes the reality means that we as wives need to do much more. For some women there may not be any other choice but to find some type of employment to help financially. There is nothing wrong in sharing the load (that is the role of the helpmate), even in the short term and will help reduce your husband's stress level.  

A more tragic consequence of men struggling to make ends meet is suicide. The rate of suicide is highest among men in their 40's-50s. They try so hard to provide for their families and some find it far too difficult in the end. According to the latest US statistics, the suicide rate for middle aged men (aged 45-64) has increased by 43% in the last 30 years.  There is plenty of evidences that shows that poverty, hopelessness and poor health affects us all, in particular men providing for their families. 

We as wives, need to take care of our menfolk and not encourage them to work these long hours, to boost their confidences and self-worth — building them up to make them stronger. We need to watch for increases in stress level, blood pressure, difficulty sleeping, not wanting to talk (bottling up their problems) or not interacting with the family as they once did. We need to demonstrate to our husbands that we love them, that we believe in them, we stand by them no matter what happens, we need them to understand we have confidences in them, trust them and they are doing a wonderful job for their family. There are times when we need to be extra strong for our husbands. 

And finally - wives pray for your husbands daily (even those who have unbelieving husbands) so they have the strength to do their work well, seek God's wisdom and remain in good health. 

I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine. 

Song of Solomon 6:3


  1. Dear Jo, This is such a true post! God help us to help our men in these days we are experiencing. Being a good wife and doing as you listed makes a huge difference for them in many ways!
    Hugs, Roxy

    1. Thankyou - I think we sometimes forget the power we have to create change and help our husbands and it is so important to be as active as we can on this front.

      Have a wonderful week xxx

  2. This is wonderful encouragement to me to recognize all that my husband does for his family, and to build him up in every way that I can! I want to make my home a place of rest and retreat for him...and controlling my tongue is another area where I need to seek the Holy Spirit's help so that I speak lovingly and kindly to him always.

    1. It sounds like you are on the right track. Certainly making a place a retreat for your husband, where he can escape to after a busy day is very important. I also like to have little treats for my husband to make him feel special. Today I bought him ice-creams as it has been very hot and he is doing lots of work outside and a cool ice-cream will cool him down.

  3. I always appreciate your humble wisdom, and I appreciate your non-judgemental attitude - very loving! Yes, we have struggled with this issues in our house and in our circle of friends. The pain and stress is very real, as are the dangers you listed. I will re-read this post often - it encourages me to keep encouraging my husband. Thank you!

    1. The dangers are real and they often happen when we least expect them. it is so important to keep a watchful eye on our men-folk. Let your husband know you love him and so proud of what he does and no matter what happens the 2 of you can work it out together - a load share is a load halved :)

      Thankyou for your kind words :) have a wonderful day. I am melting a little at present as it is summer and its rather hot :(

  4. This is really applicable to me right now. I have not been as respectful and supportive of my husband as I should be. Thanks for the reminder.


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