An excellent wife: Is the crown of her husband

Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

"Behind every great man is a great women" — I'm sure you have all heard this quote. 

But it is true — a wife can either build her husband up or pull him down. She can be an encourager or discourager, she can make him strong or make him look like a fool and as wives we play an important part in our husbands lives. In other words, a wife can bring the greatest joy to her husband or the greatest misery. 

In the verse, it talks about a crown which is conveying the idea of honour. A excellent wife will bring honour to her husband but one that chooses the opposite will bring shame like the rotting of his bones (which sounds terrible and the smell would be far worse). In Proverbs 31, verses 11 and 12 we also read about the virtues of an excellent wife "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil, All the days of her life." Once again the husband has no concern as he knows his wife will never hurt him by her words or actions and he is proud to be seen with her and show her off to all his friends and family. Not only does she behave like a model wife in public, but behind closed doors he knows that she will only do him good and never evil. One mustn't be all smiles and perfection to the public, but at home be disrespectful and nasty. Being an excellent wife is a 24/7 requirement. 

A wife's role is complementary to her husband and in a loving relationship this is easy to do. Who wouldn't want to build up their husband and be proud when he does well. But it can be much harder when the relationship is rocky and the husband isn't always very pleasant. Regardless of his behaviour, your behaviour needs to be Christ-like as you are answerable to what you do and not what your husband does. The verse doesn't have a sub text of "only if he is nice" — we need to do the right thing regardless and in those situations it takes more effort and more thought than for those wives in happier marriages.

Being an excellent wife requires much pray as it doesn't always come easy — though prayer we need to ask for wisdom, humility, patience's and a respect for our husbands position. And by our actions, we women can change not only how the world sees our men, but how our men view themselves. 


  1. What a great post. So true. I would love for you to come over and share
    at this weeks Fabulous Warm Heart Party. This post surely would 'Warm Hearts'.
    The party is over here:
    Enjoy your week.

  2. I had no idea how difficult being a wife of excellence would be until after I said "I do." Lots of ups and downs, but we will celebrate 20 years this May. Marriage surely provides ways to daily die to self. Thanks for the encouragement - would love for you to share with my readers at the Literacy Musing Mondays link-up!

    1. Thankyou Brandi for inviting me - I love how the news links are at the top, excellent idea :)

      Marriage is hard work and after 30 years I am still learning!!

  3. Thanks so much for linking up at Literacy Musing Mondays! Hope to see you back next week.

  4. I absolutely LOVE this. My professor in a class last week said we as wives have the power to build or tear down out husband's character and it's so true. Very well written. Thank you for sharing.


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