The contentious wife

Contentious: causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial, (of a person) given to provoking argument.

The Book of Proverbs paints a graphic picture of a contentious wife and it isn’t pretty.

A foolish son is the ruin of his father, And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. (Proverbs 19:13)

A contentious wife is not a person any husband is going to enjoy living with and she is bound to make him very miserable. Can you imagine having to listen continually to a dripping tap — it would send you mad, which is why things like water-boarding are use in torture. 

She is argumentative and she is always right so her poor husband never stand a chance.  She argues for the sake of arguing and she uses her arguments to dominate her husband until he is worn down to a thread and she is in control of everything. I am sure you have all met men that appear to be a shell of themselves and cringe with their wives arrive. They are the sort of women that no one really wants around. You may have heard of comments like “Jim is a lovely guy, but his wife, not so nice, she walks all over him”. 

Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. (Proverbs 21:9)

What does a contentious wife look like:

* She will lie and manipulate her husband

* She nags him endless because he does do what she wants fast enough

* She will use emotional abuse on her husband to stay in control

* She complains about him to others and never has a kind word

* He is always wrong and never does anything right in her eyes

* She calls him stupid and dumb if he struggles with a task and she is happy to tell her girlfriends how stupid he is

* She berates her husband in public and doesn’t really care who witnesses her behaviour.

* She belittles him in from of others

* She is like a dog with a bone, she gets stuck on a issue and doesn’t let go

* She uses sex as a weapon

* She can be loud when speaking, raising her voice to out do her husband

It truely would be better to dwell in the wilderness than being around a contentious and angry woman

Better to dwell in the wilderness. Than with a contentious and angry woman. (Proverbs 21:19)

One must wonder if King Solomon knew a few contentious women in his life by the way he describes in such beautiful language what they are like. 

A continual dripping on a very rainy day, And a contentious woman are alike. (Proverbs 21:9)

Dear ladies, there is no problems asking our husbands to do something or to suggest something. But we only need to ask/tell them once and not nag endlessly. We do not want to be like rain and drip, drip and drip in our husbands ear.


  1. I love this! I appreciate reading your words of encouragement and gentle reminders. :)


  2. I totally agree with you on how to talk, answer , ask or speak to our husbands. We need to reverence our husbands.

    1. :) It makes such a differences in a marriage.

  3. Thank you for reminding us to keep in check "our contentiousness" for even if we don't exhibit all of these qualities, at times, in one aspect or another, we may find ourselves acting this way and wondering why it is not eliciting the kind of response we misguidedly think we are going to get.

    Great, edifying post! Thanks.

  4. so true and I try to share this with my daughters every chance I get. My sons though I offer advice as well. I have been married for 30 years and still going strong now my children are picking their life mates and I pray that is what they are.
    come see us at

    1. Women who behave like this to their husbands tend to be not very nice to others as well - you can spot them at church or at work - they manipulate and nag to get their own way. Unpleasant women. Fortunately, most women are not like this or certainly the ones I know :) It is important to train up our children so they grow up to be adults that people enjoy having around.

  5. I pray I'll avoid even a hint of this, but I know some of those ugly tendencies are there. Thanks for the reminder.

    1. It does sound horrible to be like a dripping tap :(


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