Two will become one flesh

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31).

This verse is not simply an example of beautiful, poetic language. There is a fundamental reality behind this: Husband and wife are not just two people rooming together. Their lives actually do blend into one another. They actually become one. It is, therefore, true that what hurts the wife damages the husband. It cannot help but do so. If he is bitter toward her, it will eat like a cancer in his own life and heart. That is why, if you have had a squabble with your spouse, you may find yourself unable to do your work properly that day.

No where in the verse does it say that the husband is to dominate or control his wife, to treat her badly, to punish her, to ignore her concerns or her feelings. And likewise a wife shouldn’t be pushy or dominating, nagging, nitpicking etc. This is the union of two people who become one and one doesn’t hurt its-self (unless they have real issues). 

Your husband should be as interested in you and your activities as you are in his. One is no more important than other, the husband does not have power over his wife. He is to love his wife as himself and the wise is to show respect to her husband. 

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:32-33).

This is a team that works together, in unison, caring and loving each other. Christ presents a beautiful vision of marriage, sadly there are those who take their own version of these verses and place the husband in the position of power and the wife in the position of subservient where her husband rules over her. That is not biblical in any way and completely wrong.  Sadly power has gone to the heads of many in the Christian community throughout history and made quite a mess of marriage. 

If we, as husbands and wives follow the Word of God correctly and not add our own version — a marriage will work and harmony will be restored in those bitterly divided homes, grace and peace will replace battle and conflict, violence, and ugliness. Therefore, husbands, love your wife as yourself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  


  1. It should be the beautiful thing, but sadly is so often, so ugly! =(

    1. Because couples just don't know the real plan for marriage - many aren't Christian and those that are, aren't taught this sort of thing.

  2. Truly, your teaching is wonderful concerning this topic. My husband and I have been married for 45 years. We have grown together, shared together, worked together, raised a family together, loved the Lord together, and lived life together. I wouldn't trade all of the wonderful and sometimes difficult memories. We do smile a lot now at the thought of the two becoming one. It is a great mystery. However, on a practical side, we often remark that the phrase has taken on new meaning as we have grown older together. It now takes two of us to do what one of us used to be able to accomplish! We really are one!!!

    1. "It now takes two of us to do what one of us used to be able to accomplish! " I love this - it shows the true purpose of marriage, working together. My next door neighbour is a widow and she lives alone. When she needs help she comes knocking on our door and my husband gives her a hand. When one part of the partnership dies, it becomes very clear how much the two becoming one means.


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