Motherhood and freedom

I was reading Facebook the other day and one young woman, newly married was commenting on how much she would love a baby.  Someone responded by saying " I'd give up mum hood any day to go back to the 'easy life' - don't wish away your freedom too soon".  I assume part of this comment was "tongue in cheek" but sadly this is more true that we would like to admit.  How often have you heard young women say that their careers are going to come first before having a baby and plan to wait for that "next big promotion", or the need to buy the house first, then comes the car and furniture and before long the young woman isn't quite so young any more.

According to recent research "New figures from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) confirm the steady rise in the average age of women giving birth, and mums aged over 35 accounted for almost a quarter of all babies born in 2008. Women aged 40 and over made up almost four per cent of those who gave birth over the year." The article goes onto to explain why this is occurring "There are a number of factors that contribute to delayed childbearing, including social, educational and economic factors and increased access to assisted reproductive technology."

But underlying much of this is the fear of losing ones identity and freedom.  Women these days (thanks to the feminist movement) believe that having a baby will take away their freedom - and this boils down to "doing what I want". I don't believe that women loose their freedom or their identity when they becomes mothers. Things most certainly change - less sleep and more demands are placed upon mums.  But in return you have the most precious gift from God, unconditional love and someone who will turn around and say "I love you".  Women in high powered jobs also loose sleep, work long hours and have many demands placed upon them - and what do they get in return - perhaps more money, certainly more stress - but nothing as precious as a baby!

Personally, my priorities changed when I became a mother - there is no doubt that having a baby is life-altering (it isn't a cliche) and it is hard work and you do make sacrifices - but it is also the most rewarding job on the planet (even though at times it doesn't feel this way).   When I wanted "me" time I did things a little differently (I had to wait on occasions before I could have this time to myself) however I wanted less "me" time and more "baby and me" time I must admit.   It didn't become a prison at all - and how sad that some women see it as that.

Being a mother is a very important role that the Lord chooses to give to many women and each baby is truly a "gift from God".  God didn't give us children so they would become a chore or unpleasant task - He gave us this beautiful baby to love, nurture, teach and encourage - it is a life long journey and He is always with us on this journey. Mine has certainly been bumpy - I have climb Mount Everest more than once, but the rewards have been worth it!

 These photos are of baby Sarah and her mum who I visited in early December. 



  1. Jo:as a people we just have our priorities so screwed up. Our society does not value children. The cheapest restraunts [like Maccas] are the ones that provide *playgrounds*. The nice ones, more & more, are becoming child free zones because the childless do not want to be *bothered*. Now we have child free apartment blocks & child free cafes etc etc. It will serve us right if our unwanted children designated *aged free zones*!

  2. Second blog Ihave read this morning with reference to negative comments on motherhood. What in the world!
    Ganeida is right, who will care for this generation when we get old? Arck...something is not right in this society.

  3. P.S. Love your last paragraph.

  4. I think it is saddening and even disgusting to hear of women say how they wish they could take their children back or get rid of them! What a horrible, hurtful thing for the children if they ever learned of those comments... And what a SELFISH horrible world we live in when parents can't sacrifice a few years, a few comforts, a few dollars, a few fun times for the sake of a child. It disgusts me and sometimes makes me wonder why God chooses to give babies (and more babies) to some of those parents who have no regard for their children, while other parents who would love to fill their house with babies and children are not able to conceive any more children. It all seems so upside down. I'm sure God has good reason for those decisions though, and we just have to pray for those children who are not wanted.

  5. Clara - I always feel sad when I hear mothers (even in jest) wanting to hand their children over because they want a quieter life. We were all children once and I would hate for someone to say it to me if I was the child.

    Some children have very sad and horrible lives and I do wonder, just like you why this happens. We sometimes treat dogs and cats better than our children.

    And if do treat our children so badly they may not want to look after us in our old age. And then we have a problem

  6. It just very sad and selfish! I had friends who thought that doing the travelling and career and all before having children was the way to go but she now regrets making that decision and can see how selfish they were in their thinking. I would love another baby! xxx

  7. Jo, What a delightful blog. There is no more fulfilling role than being a mother (I believe) or come to that a grandmother. It can be physically and emotionally draining, it can be worrying, hurtful. But, it is also very rewarding, with many many special moments and it is a gift and blessing from God. Those, no strings attached "I love you, mummy or nanny" are priceless. Thank you for this post and God Bless. Nita.

  8. Jo, I think those of us who are blessed with motherhood(and godly wifehood)have a freedom that is very precious. Knowing you are in the Lord's will brings a liberty that many women know nothing of these days.
    Bondage comes with tying your identity to a career, which can be there one minute and gone the next.
    This was an excellent post! Thanks for sharing.
    bless you..Trish

  9. This is in response to Ganeida's comment~

    Several years ago my family and I wanted to go to an outdoor symphony. It was on a beautiful farm. The concert was in a very large barn with gorgeous cedar beams. The leaves were all changing was absolutely lovely. But for some reason there was something "sinister" there. I couldn't put my finger on it.

    The crowd was huge and well dressed. There were long tables set for afternoon tea. But I just wanted to leave. My husband felt the same way.

    As we got to the car we realized it was because there were no children. Not a single one. In fact, it wasn't until we were leaving that we saw a sign that said, "No children allowed." To this day, whenever I pass that farm, it seems like such a barren place.

  10. Mrs Santos - I know what you mean, many places now either don't want children or frown when a child is noisy.

    Children ought to be encouraged to love music as they are next generation to go to these concerts but if they are barrred when they are young they may not want to attend later in life. It is very short minded to not encourage children.

    And the other thing, how do children learn how to behave when they are out if they aren't welcome in many venues.

  11. Nita - I can't wait to become a grandmother one day - I will probably spoil them rotten!! I will be one of those grandmothers very happy to baby sit!

  12. What a gorgeous baby! Thanks for the encouragement to push on, even when I can hardly remember my name! By the way, Sarah loves the photos!
    love Bets


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