What makes a Christian marriage?
I was reading on another blog about the struggles of marriage and how difficult it can be, I couldn't agree more. Marriage can be tough, really tough. I found this list by Nancy Leigh DeMoss which I thought was a good reminder - things I ought to remember. So this is more a message to self than telling other people how to create a solid Christian marriage. You may not need it as you have already reached this wonderful position but I have some more areas of improvement!
“Every wise woman buildeth her house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands”
1. Am I building up my house or tearing it down?
2. Am I investing in my marriage? Am I nurturing the heart of my marriage?
3. Do I frequently express admiration and gratitude to my husband?
4. Am I reserving the best of my physical and emotional energy for my family?
5. Am I creating a climate (through words, actions, and attitudes) that makes my husband want to be at home?
6. Am I content to be “at home”? Am I finding my “fulfillment” through reverencing and serving my husband and family?
7. Do I reserve intimate communication, looks, words, and touch for my husband? Am I giving of my emotions, attention, affection to a man other than my husband?
8. Am I meeting my husband’s sexual needs?
9. Am I trustworthy? Is there any behaviour or relationship I am involved in that I am keeping from my husband? Have I been totally honest with my husband?
10. Does my husband have the freedom to be totally honest with me?
11. Am I fueling sensual thoughts and desires through books, magazines, TV programs, music, or movies that are not morally pure?
12. Have I become a “refuge” for a man who may be struggling in his marriage?
13. Am I looking to a man other than my husband (pastor, counselor, colleague) to be a primary source of counsel or to fill an emotional vacuum in my life?
14. Do I have a more intimate relationship—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—with any man than I do with my husband?
15. Does my demeanour tend to be “loud and defiant,” or do I communicate a meek, quiet, and submissive spirit?
16. Am I a “wall” or a “door” (Song of Songs 8:12)? Am I a “loose” woman? Do I communicate to the men around me that I am “available”? Does my demeanour invite them to “partake” of intimate parts of my body, soul, or spirit? Do I engage in flirtatious speech, looks, or behaviour?
17. Is there anything about my speech, actions, dress, or attitudes that could defraud the men around me?
18. Am I discreet and restrained in the way I talk with men at work? Is my conversation ever loose, crude, or unbecoming for a woman of God? Am I expressing admiration for a man that should more appropriately come from his wife?
19. Does my dress help men to keep their thoughts pure and Christ-centred? Is my dress feminine and modest?
20. Have I erected (and am I maintaining) adequate “hedges” in my relationships with men? What are those hedges?
21. Am I currently in a situation that is (or could become) compromising? Am I in a situation that could appear to others to be compromising?
22. Would my husband, as well as other men and women who know me, say that I am a woman of moral virtue and purity?
23. Have I purposed in my heart to be morally pure? Am I making myself accountable to my husband and to another godly woman for my walk with God and others?