Marriage: Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.  Ephesians. 4:31-32

I don't know about you, but I am not the perfect wife.  I get angry when I shouldn't, I say things which I regret later, I mull and strew over things that lead to bitterness and bad feelings and when I'm feeling grumpy my kindness slips away.  So today's verses are a very timely reminder to myself and to all other women, who, like me, are far from perfect - and what a good way to start a new month.  This is from the book I have been reading "What's it like to be Married to Me" by Linda Dillow.


We are to strip off our old, harmful way of relating.  These 6 attitudes are to be tossed in the trash bin:

1. Bitterness: Nursing your wrath to keep it warm. Brooding over insults, injuries and slights.

2. Wrath: The flaring up of passion and temper, an outbreak of anger that springs from personal animosity.

3. Anger: A long-lived habitual anger, where it settles down and is at home in your heart.

4. Clamour: The loud self-assertion of an angry wife who wants everyone to hear her grievances.

5. Evil speaking: Slanderous or abusive speaking about one's husband.

6. Malice: Bad feelings of every kind that cause a wife to speak or do evil against her husband.

Instead put on a new wardrobe with shades of kindness, compassion and forgiveness.

Kindness: This is love in practical action.  When you put on kindness you are as concerned about your husband's feelings as you are about your own.  You are as sensitive to your husband's sorrow's, hurt, struggles as to your own.

Tenderheartedness: The love in action that is kindness must be married to a tender heart of sympathy.  The obstacle to kindness and compassion is often the sense of wrong done to you as a wife or a grievance nursed.  So the overarching garment you must put on is forgiveness.

Forgiveness: The Greek word charizoma, translated as forgiving, means "to be gracious" or "to give freely".  The hardest of all can be forgiveness as it requires swallowing ones pride and anger. 


  1. These are excellent reminders Jo - I'm not the perfect wife either (nowhere near it!). We like that passage from Scripture - all of us have memorised it, but we would do well to remember it more often, I reckon!!

  2. Amen, this is similar to what I blogged about a few days ago! Beautiful painting! :)

  3. Sarah, I wrote this last week and have since found several blogs (including yours) with this same theme, I always find that interesting when it happens - the Lord is telling us something I think. I think the message is loud and clear - we need to work hard with our marraiges! marrages don't happen without work and effort.

  4. Amen...convicting....needed the reminder even after 31 years of marriage...maybe more so because of 31 years of marriage.

    I haven't read any Linda Dillow in years...maybe I should grab this one

  5. Mm doing to try again third time blogger is not friendly with this word verification - love this post Jo and thanks so much for sharing it, my walking and talking need to match, by the Word,
    love in Him, Shaz in Oz.x


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