Put a stop to bullying

Source of imagine

As a boy and as a man, my experiences with bullies have left me feeling intimidated, depressed, anxious, stressed, and sick to my stomach. The scary thing is that mine have been mild cases compared to most. The bullying reports that flow each day into my email box and web pages are truly disturbing, as are many of the stories told directly to me by people who attend my speeches or talk to me in my travels.  by Nick Vujici

Bullying occurs in all walks of life. Many children experience bullying at school, workers experience bullying in the workplace, it can happen at church, to the elderly in nursing homes, by your neighbour and by your spouse.  We all know at least one person who has been bullied, it maybe yourself.

My husband was bullied in the workplace a few years back, it went on for years . . . I know the effects it can have on the individual and on the family -  it can be very damaging physically and emotionally. It is a situation you never want to be in or want someone you love to suffer. It is an emotional roller-coater that can destroy families.  My husband lost his job as a result and yes, he was the victim.

Extreme bullying, the type that goes on daily over a period time can result in ill health, mental breakdown and tragically suicide.  Sadly, when reported, it is often not dealt with, the victim is not believed (considered to be over reacting) and the person who is causing the bullying, denies it (and if more senior), the upper ranks close together and suddenly the victim is out in the cold with senior management attacking them.  A new trend is to send the victim to see a psychiatrist, who goes about discrediting the victim and by the time the consultation is finished, the victim is more of a mess than when they first started.  All to often the workplace is not on the side of the victim or puts up so many obstacles that reporting and dealing with the bully is just too hard. 

I know from experience that the victims of bullies often hide their distress and depression from their families and friends, wither out of embarrassment or from fear of making things worse. Most can't see a way to escape their tormentors, which can lead to tragic consequences.

As Nick Vujici points out in his book "Unstoppable", when we see bullying, we need to be like the good Samaritan and help. Standing by and watching another person being ridiculed, made a joke of, laughed at for being different, harassed or marginalised is not on. We need to teach our children (especially teenagers) how to act when they witness bullying or are being bullied. If you have a child who will one day work in paid employment, they will witness or be bullied. Sadly, it is a fact of life and we need to train them up to be able to survive these sorts of situations, life skills that make them resilient. We also need to teach them to be the good Samaritan.

As wives, you need to look out for signs if you think your husband is being bullied. He may not tell you at first as it can be embarrassing as they may feel like a failure. Your job is to support and listen. It can be tough, very tough. They will go through emotional changes - get angry when they usually doesn't, unable to sleep or eat well, restless, anxious, worry about the finances (in case they loss their job), become physically ill etc.  It can result in major changes to your family and effect the children.  For us, I am now the major breadwinner - this is my help to my husband and I do it proudly.

My husband is currently using his time whilst at home to work with bullying victims (some cases would make you cry) and trying to make a differences to workplaces to put a stop to bullying. It won't happen overnight, but at least it is a start. We should all do our bit to stamp out bullying as it can happen anywhere.

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...“A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. . . . So which of these three do you think was neighbour to him who fell among the thieves?” And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

Luke 10:25-27

Quotes in blue are from "Unstoppable" by NickVujici (pages 159 and 165)