Deleting comments
I find it interesting when my comments are deleted from blogs. Whilst blog owners are entitled to delete comments (it is their blog and they can do whatever they like), it is interesting what is deleted (and I am not referring to trolls commenting). Often it is well written comments that happen to have different point of view.
I don’t expect visitors to my blog to share all my views and I am quite happy to hear their opinions on topics (it makes for an interesting conversation) and it is lovely to see the diversity of comments — even if I don’t always agree with them. As Christians we are often see as narrow minded and intolerant, sadly I think Christians can be very intolerant of other Christians who do things differently. And women in particular can be quite bad when it comes parenting etc. I find this very sad and for some women it must be both upsetting and turning them off participating in Blogland (and from commenting). Perhaps this is most evident when I write about working outside the home and not being a full-time SAHM. In fact I have stopped commenting on some blogs as I know what will happen. I am tired of being judged by people who do not know me and I get upset by comments that make a very generic statements about working women by women who haven’t worked for many years and perhaps very removed from the reality of working outside the home.
My aim with blogging is to encourage women to find and love the Lord Jesus Christ. To have joy and peace in their lives and to find friendship with other Christian women. However, I don’t want all my readers to be clones of each other, I love the diversity. You may love the Duggars, be fans of the Pearls, oppose women who work, or like me, need to work. You may home school or send your children to school — let’s build a community of Christian women who are willing and adult enough to talk and not delete when someone says something that disagrees with your views. When you delete, it feels like you are slamming the door in my face, that’s sad. The question perhaps should be, are you 100% certain that you are right? I will stand before Christ, like you, we will need to justify our actions in this life. I do the best I can and I am sure you do. Slamming a door in another person’s face is both hurtful and intolerant.
Lets love our neighbours as God has commanded us to do and reach out rather than being afraid of those that might have a different view.
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I agree. It is true, as Christians we need to truly understand the Love and heart of our heavenly Father and of the sacrifice of Jesus, and too often we don't. It is easy to get stuck in a certain view of what life, and Christian life
ReplyDeleteis supposed to look like. I long to know more of the Father's Heart, to love like He loves, to see through His eyes, to have a greater understanding of His Kingdom. Its what He told us to seek after first. Blessings Jo; have a great week.
Thanks Pam for your comment - I do think we get stuck with particular views and not willing to listen to others - in a way we get very legalist even without trying.
DeleteYou too have a great week :)
Jo, I have done it so many ways now I have no opinion on how other families choose to do things. I hated working outside the home. It was draining & made me a grumpy mum ~ but I needed to. I have a disabled husband so the usual order of things is not so evident in our house. I have homeschooled, sent mine to school, & now run both a home business & a ministry. And God has blessed it all. I find He is not half so narrow minded as some of His followers & I know you are a much more organised worker than I ever was so I know your family is blessed through your efforts.
ReplyDeleteA little research shows biblical women scooting all over the known world working alongside the better known men in their own ministries, labouring for His kingdom. We each operate as we are called by Him & that is really nobody else's business at all! It is between us & God. If He does not condemn us then no~one else has that right.
Thanks heaps for your encouraging words. I do think God is much more understanding of our individual situation and really that is that matters. We are not all clones and we aren't asked to be, we each need to the best we can.
DeleteDear Jo, I am sorry for the hurt you have felt over this situation. Maybe it would be best to stay with those who have responded to your way of seeing things. I also have written on your blog as to how I feel about a
ReplyDeletesubject to you, but I also allow your words to
express your understanding and your unique dynamics. We must also allow others to remove what does not align with their point of ministry!
This may not help you much, but do not make this a point of contentiousness.
Walk in the freedom that you feel and allow others to do the same,I am grateful for most of those very people that were strong and it was not easy to see the truth for myself! Comment on the things you do have in common!
Blessings, Roxy
Seriously??? I love your comments-- treasure every one and would NEVER delete your comment-- that's just crazy. Xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou always make my day:))) aren't the kitties so cute. Have a wonderful week.
DeleteGod bless :)) xx
Ps--- I love the kitty picture:)
ReplyDeleteV.
The kitty cats are absolutely adorable!
ReplyDeleteI undersatnd perfectly since you have deleted some of my comments from your blog. Very hurtful when I was expressing views different to the ones you hold.
ReplyDeleteWho are you? As a fellow reader, I find myself only wanting to be anonymous on blog post comments (NOT on Jo's blog, because she never writes anything that bothers me like her posts seem to bother you) when I have a comment I want to write that is rude, offensive or just plain unnecessary. It's at those moments that I realise that either I need to have courage enough to write my comment as myself (using my identity) or I should just leave my comment off altogether.
DeleteI don't blame Jo if she has deleted some of your comments, because the comments that show up on her blog under the guise of anonymity are often very rude, inflammatory and offensive. And no blogger is obliged to leave such comments on their posts.
Nothing that I have written has been rude or offensive, I have simply wriiten my viewpoint which sometimes differs from Jo's. If I choose to remain anonymous maybe it's for reasons unknown to you. Should that bother you? Not in the least, but I feel you are judging me, since you think that I would only write "comments that show up on her blog under the guise of anonymity are often very rude, inflammatory and offensive."
DeleteActually, there is a nice way to differ in opinions, and then there are ways to have an opposing opinion that are either rude and/or offensive. I think sometimes people don't realise how rude and argumentative their comments come across (remembering that the written word does not always convey tone of voice or facial expressions).
DeleteI can't think of a single good reason why a person couldn't at least come up with a "pen" name or nickname to use online. Yes, being anonymous comes across to me (and many other bloggers - I've seen whole blogs posts written about the subject, and know some people will not even allow anonymous commenters to comment on their blog) as being somewhat cowardly, especially if the anonymous person's opinion so frequently disagrees with the blogger. Why bother coming back to read a blog if one is always disagreeing/being disagreeable?? Is it just to start an argument?
This is just my opinion, but that is how it seems to me at least. If that is not your intention, perhaps a little more positivity would help. :) Negativity for the sake of it is discouraging, does not lift people up, and is not worth thinking on (Philippians 4:8). Some positivity and less argumentativeness WOULD be good!! I'm not the owner of this blog, but I do enjoy reading the comments Jo gets on her blog (it can be quite an education), but as I said above, "Anonymous" often seems to have rude and offensive comments, which is really sad and impolite. :(
Anon, I attempt to delete no comments , however I did get a run of anon messages that were nuisance comments (promoting sales) and they were deleted and I apologies if any if yours were affected. I do prefer names but for some reason you have decided to not use one, it helps knowing if you are male or female and your country/continent . Without this it is hard to respond back and know whether you are real and interested in the topics or trolling. As Clara pointed out, more blogs are deleting an in comments due to these concerns.
DeleteWhat I find really interesting is how people can judge me/you/a person as being wrong and yet they will not ever consider the fact that they in their hot-headedness are being quite wrong themselves. Offence doesn't cancel out offence. If I am wronged by someone, me being nasty back makes me just as much of a sinner as they are - and that is basically what these bloggers are doing (Romans 12:21). They are standing on their righteous, pious soap box, believing they are perfectly justified in their judgement of people who believe something different, and in the process they are causing great offence and stumbling others themselves.
ReplyDeleteThe real question is whether or not EACH person has searched the Scriptures to see whether what THEY are doing/believing is in line with the doctrines and teachings found therein.
In the Old Testament times, God set down laws and instructions that were extremely clear and detailed. Today He has instead given us some broad guidelines, and then gifted us with the Holy Spirit so that we can listen to His urgings and seek His desires for the details and specifics about our lives. However, we CAN be legalistic sometimes - in fact, to an extent, the world expects a form of legalism (obedience to certain standards that are viewed as being "Christian"). But we live in a time of grace. Each of us will stand individually before God and it is to Him alone that we will give account.
That is not exclusive - we are fellow believers, and God desires orderliness in the body of Christ - He is not the author of confusion. And we are to be accountable to one another to an extent - this is what Paul and the other apostles taught in their epistles - we do need to take care to help our brothers and sisters in Christ when they are in need, sometimes with a word of exhortation or even reproof... But before we do that we also need to examine ourselves and be sure our lives and our opinion of others' lives is TRULY based on the Scriptures, not just based on our own opinions of how Christianity should look.
If believers are drawing close to God and walking in HIS ways, then we won't have many reasons to disagree, either, because the Holy Spirit won't tell one person to do something and someone else to do the opposite - if that makes sense. So it is very important for us to be sure we are walking close to the Lord and seeking HIS will, and not stretching it and lying to ourselves, too.
It's a big one, Jo... One that won't be solved in this world, partly because we have people who are true believers and people who only pretend to be believers, and people who are very weak in their faith, and so on.
Thanks Clara :))) we do need to care about each other . xxx
DeleteLove you Jo. If you ever find your comments missing from my blog it's because of a technical difficulty or it didn't come through! You are always a blessing, especially your comments.
ReplyDeleteThanks Laura, you are a darling :)))
DeleteHave a great week ahead.
I am definitely NO friend of the Pearls or of the so called Patriarchy movement, so I never bring the subject up on my blog. I do like to keep my blog positive though an sometimes a comment that says "I always do it better" or " I never have a messy house, I am always neat and tidy" will be deleted if its been posted every single time a new subject comes up. It's not sympathetic and it can be discouraging for some people.
ReplyDeleteIt never bothers me if my comments are deleted. I just figure it does not fit in with the owner's purpose, or that they do not want to promote my blog to their readers. If a comment is deleted, I leave the blog alone
ReplyDeleteIf your comment does not appear on my blog you can contact me via email to work things out. Ladylydiaspeaks@comcast.net
ReplyDeleteAlso, I notice that the ladies who write homemaker type blogs generally do not go to blogs with the opposite view, because it does not make for peace. To be always correcting or objecting to what someone else writes, brings conflict and unhealthy agitation and resentment into your life.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh, and sometimes contention and conflict is beneficial biblically speaking. We are told to earnestly contend for the faith and that we will have conflict in this life as followers of Christ. If you've been in a situation like that and had your comment deleted I can understand your frustration, but I also encourage you to remember how the Lord told His disciples to dust their feet and go elsewhere when anyone would not hear them. Paul put this into practice in the book of Acts. Though I know from personal experience that it's hard at times, it does have an element of liberty in it - liberty for us in knowing that we tried and were not heard and we can move forward with a clear conscience. As my dad always says, "Dust your feet and move on." :-)
DeleteMary, it really doesn't worry me that people choose to delete comments, but I do find it interesting which ones are. Life is too short to worry to much about it, and as you say, move one:)))
DeleteP.S. I love the cat photo at the top of the post!! :-) :-)
ReplyDeleteMy two cats would never hug like that , Charlie is always spitting at Ruby!!
DeleteThis is a very interesting subject! I see where you're coming from & I do tend to agree! :-)
ReplyDeleteI think it can be hard as with all written word as opposed to spoken word it can be hard to read through the 'tone' with which the person has written. Often things that appear harmful to us may not have been written in that way - esp if we are feeling a bit fragile on the day we read them!
Personally what bothers me more if when people have voiced their opinion but then seem to want to write 5 further comments afterwards stating the same thing over and over!!!!! And yes also annoying is obviously, the spam comments that we all get time to time!
I really like diverse opinion and i don't mind if it is different to mine - but it appears that not all bloggers do and these only like comments similar to what they believe in. I am quite open to be challenged , but I don't like rudeness or nasty comments and these I would delete. As for spam, I get quite a bit, but most end up in the spam category and I can mass delete them. It is interesting how some spam comments target one entry - I am sure it is don't automatically.
DeleteOh and also I must say that I hear your point about working outside of the home! It seems to be such a touchy subject - and even more so amount Christians than non-Christians.
ReplyDeleteI wish everyone could all just accept that different families need to work in different ways. We aren't all called to live the exact life! Our faith is not based on our work status, and our work status does not effect our eternal destination! Christians need to remember that! (and that statement was not aimed at anyone in particular, just a note!!!) :-)
Why is it so touchy ??? I just can't fathom it, it really frustrates me. My mum worked all her adult life and she was (and still is at 81) and very strong Christian woman with very conservative views. I assume there are much younger Christian women who would tell her how wrong she was - even though she brought up 4 children without a moment of neglect, home cooked all our meals, made all our clothes and we had a wonderful life. You are so right - our faith isn't based on whether we work or not outside the home. And too me, there is so much more to the Word of God than whether I work or not. Don't get me started :)))
DeleteHave a wonderful weekend Sandy .