We are all different but the same
If I gathered a group of Christian women together I would find that they all very different; they would look different, do the same tasks differently, bring up their children differently, even talking differently and there is nothing wrong with that at all.
Some may be great list makers, others wing it
Some may be very organised, whilst others live in a happy muddle
Some may love to cook, others may be great at sewing
Some may be very feminine in their dress, others practical
Some many be very creative, others not as much
Some may work outside the home, others may have a home based business
Some may be mothers, other have not been blessed with children
Some may be very quiet, others a little more boisterous
Some have been born rich, others poor
Some are very busy, others have lots of spare time
Some have lots of energy, others may not
Some have lots of energy, others may not
Some have chosen to home school, others have not
Some cover their heads, others don't
Some wear long skirts only, others wear pants
Some cover their heads, others don't
Some wear long skirts only, others wear pants
Some have suffered much sadness in their lives, others have only known joy
Some are older, others are younger
Some great listeners and others great doers
Some love detail, others love the big picture
Some are leaders and others are followers
Some great listeners and others great doers
Some love detail, others love the big picture
Some are leaders and others are followers
We are all different and that is what makes a group of Christian women so special.
We will never all be the same because of our family circumstances, the country we live in, the way we were brought up, our mothers influences, our husbands, in what area we live in, our education, the number of children we have, our health, our wealth, the passions we have, our likes and dislikes . . .
Because we are different and do things differently, we need to respect these differences (and I am not referring to sinful activities here) and not think of our fellow sisters in Christ as lessor Christians, lesser homemakers, lesser mothers . . . because they do things differently. I am not a list maker, I don't own a "housekeeping folder", I never will - however I am very organised and chores get done and I love being a keeper of my home. However I not excited about housework, but I do love to cook and sew and make things pretty. I can be quite noisy and I love people. I like to smile and bring joy to others. I am feminine in my dress and come from a comfortable home financially. I have never known poverty or ill health, however my marriage hasn't been smooth sailing. I love being creative but I am hopeless at singing or playing music. I love to read, but don't ask me to write a book. I didn't homeschool my children and I believe in vaccination.
Sadly Christians have a bad habit of takes sides - the homechooling team, the anti-vaccination team, the working team, the "you can't be a homemaker unless you are always at home" team, lots of children team, living off the grid team, head-covering team . . . . Why do we do this to ourselves, why can't we be accepting of others? We cannot accomplish what God has for us to do it we do not reconcile with one another. In His most impassioned prayer on the night before He was crucified, Jesus pleaded with God to unite His followers.
That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. (John 17:21)
So lets focus on what is important:
Putting God first
Being our husbands helpmate
Loving our children
Being our husbands helpmate
Loving our children
Loving one another
Giving generously
Forgiving quickly
Be kind always
Never hate
Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment’ (Matthew 22:37-38)
If we all have these in common, does it matter whether I write lists or home all day, whether I homeschool or only have two children, fit more into my day than you? Does it matter whether I can cook well or sew? No, it doesn't. As long as our families are content and happy, we are our husband's helpmates, our homes are cosy and we all do as the Lord Jesus Christ has asked of us.
Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established. (Proverbs 16:2)
So lets focus on what is important and not worry that you aren't doing the same as another blogger (or the woman next door). Remember their life story is likely to be very different to yours. We need to live by faith, we are accountable to God in the chooses we make. Focus on what God wants for you and your family - it is likely to vary from one woman to another and one family to another. And that is perfectly ok.
Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
(1 Corinthians 10:31)
Very true, Jo. It's too bad people can't discuss these issues without getting angry with each other too - we might learn something valuable if we could do that!! I am a very passionate person, and I know for a fact that when a person is passionate about something, people seem to immediately get defensive in response. I guess we're all guilty of being defensive when it comes to our pet peeves or pet subjects that we feel passionate about - and we need to be able to give each other room express ourselves without getting uptight with one another about it.... something we could all work on, I reckon! We're all a work in progress!! :)
ReplyDeleteClara, I agree. I also think it's wise to be careful how we express our passions and pet subjects. I've been trying to learn to speak differently about things that are my preference or opinion that are not clearly detailed in scripture from those things that we can see are clearly part of the faith once delivered to the saints. Preferences and opinions and ideals based loosely on scripture are not the same and should not be contended for as we would contend for the faith! So many either contend for everything they hold as "true" (including opinions), or they don't contend for anything, even the faith, but are easy going about everything - even sound doctrine. It's frustrating.
DeleteI don't mind people sharing their passions, we all have them, its when they bang you over the head (continually) and won't listen to your views on the topic and believe that their views are the only ones that can and are right. I try very hard not to become defensive, it can be hard at times but its important to listen to others, even if you don't agree.
DeleteJo, I agree with a lot of what you said here. It's very helpful. Awhile back my sister-in-law, my mom and I had opportunity to be at a gathering of Christian ladies who hold to a certain belief system. I have to admit that I felt rather strange when I realized that, except for the few unsaved women present, all the other ladies except us and one other were dressed in one or two different styles of clothes and had one of three different hairstyles. It made me uncomfortable because it felt like there is little room for differences among them; as if everyone is expected to fit into a certain template, or they're really a misfit. They were mostly gracious enough, but it bothers me when there's no room for differences of external things of this nature. I wonder about other areas of life. I wonder if they would accept a non-homeschooling family among them. I know they don't accept women working outside the home (except for "ministry") and seem to have only a little patience with couples who don't have children. It is sad to see such things in the body of Christ where we all need each other.
ReplyDeleteI also couldn't help thinking of this passage as I read your article: 1 Corinthians 12:14-21 For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. And if they were all one member, where were the body? But now are they many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
I worry greatly about the “sameness” that you refer to — I have also seen in blogs. What happens to the poor young woman (or young man) who wants to dress differently, unable to have a baby, would like to become a nurse, loves to sing, falls in love with a Christian outside their community. This is cult behaviour and not biblical. Sadly, it is in these communities that we see domestic violence — where men believe it is acceptable to beat their wives and it becomes hidden with the women too afraid to go to the authorities. It’s so sad.
DeleteWe weren’t born to be clones of each other — God gave us special skills, talents and strengths that make us different and I think it is dangerous to force this level of conformity onto others and expect all the women to march to the same tune. I wonder about the mental health problems brewing under the surface.
Yes, I agree. It concerns me very much too. And, even where there isn't actual violence toward the women other problems can be lurking in hiding, such as adultery or other unfaithfulness. But, sadly, it has been shown that in highly controlling religious environments where women are kept in a position of servitude and extreme submission, sexual sins by the men against women and girls often are common, though seldom brought to the light of day. Some Dutch researchers actually wrote a book on the subject.
DeleteI also wonder about the mental health issues that are brewing or being covered up. :-(
Sadly the mental health is so covered up we will never know the damage, but its tragic for those suffering in silences, probably made to feel guilty for feeling the way they do.
DeleteI find the judgement that we face so saddening. Having different skill sets is what can make us a great team.
ReplyDeleteI find it particularly sad when Christian women do it and justify it by using bible verses. We should be working together in harmony, just imagine what powerful force for God we would be.
DeleteWe all compare ourselves against each other - though this is the opposite to what we are told to do in the Bible!!!! It seems we just can't help ourselves =( But we HAVE to remember that we are held accountable for our own decisions - and no one else's!
ReplyDeleteAnother thought is: do we get most upset about other's decisions because of decisions that we ourselves have made in the past and wish we hadn't?
I guess it all comes down to the fact that if someone else is doing something different, then we might not have made the right decision (as others are not in my boat) and hence I get worried and overly defensive of my position???
The division of the church must cause great sorrow to the Lord.
love,
Bets
Quite right, we all compare ourselves to others (human nature) and we are sticky beaks and want to check out what others are doing and sadly we tend to look for fault in them which makes us feel more virtuous. We should be encouraging each other, supporting each other, finding joy rather than always pulling down. And we need to accept that we aren't all the same for many different reasons.
DeleteI wonder if there are many churches without division, probably not.
A thought provoking post.
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteIsn't that the truth... The world would be a dull place if we were all like-minded robots... Instead, Christian women are a like a wildflower garden, all different and colorful but very beautiful daughters of the King. Have a lovely week Jo :)
ReplyDeleteVery dull indeed :(
DeleteI just the idea of the "wild flower garden", that is so beautiful and a great way to describe Christian women.
God made each one of us different and as long as we are doing his work, being a helpmate to our husbands and working hard to be the Christian he wants us to be it does not matter that we are different.
ReplyDeleteIf God wanted us to all be the same He would have created everyone to be the same - but instead He gave us different talents and skills to use to the best of our ability. :)) Thanks for dropping by.
DeleteThis is a great post Jo. Definitely worth thinking about. Thank you x
ReplyDeleteJo I can't express how much I LOVE this post! Esp with the upbringing I had - Christianity seemed to be all about 'rules' and yet living for Jesus is so much different to that. Each person is allowed to live their life as they see fit, shame so many other Christians can't see that!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sandy - it is something I believe strongly in - I get tired of being told there is only one role for me and for all women :)) We should do the best we can as long as we do all things for Christ.
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