Its all about ME, its about my happiness
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| Source: Pinterest |
Below is a letter that I found in "Letters to the Editor" of a local newspaper - I thought was worth sharing. It gives insight into why many younger women dress the way they do.
"Wearing a short skirt makes me happy, excited, sensual and daring.
It is not about you.
I don't mind if you glance at me. I understand that the sight of an attractive young woman in a short skirt is a source of joy and pleasure for both males and females. If I make you happy, then yeah! But do not ever presume that it is OK to stare, call out, follow or harass me. I repeat, it is not about you. I reserve the right to dress how I choose (within the bounds of decency)." (LINK)
I don't wear a short skirt to impress you, to attract you, or to arouse you.
It is not about you.
I don't mind if you glance at me. I understand that the sight of an attractive young woman in a short skirt is a source of joy and pleasure for both males and females. If I make you happy, then yeah! But do not ever presume that it is OK to stare, call out, follow or harass me. I repeat, it is not about you. I reserve the right to dress how I choose (within the bounds of decency)." (LINK)
Its all about me.
I consider myself very important and I don't care about anyone else.
I don't care if I upset others, cause them to lust or cause discomfort or distress.
I want to make myself happy, I want to be an individual and do my own thing.
The ME generation is all about me and I don't give two hoots about anyone else or their feelings.
“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.” Albert Camus
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Sound familiar? It should be, as we are surrounded by people with these selfish attitudes who do as they please regardless of how it effects others. A selfish person is one who cares only for their own pleasures, even if it causes pain or discomfort to someone else. They have no consideration for others and worry only about their own comfort. They are in pursuit of their own happiness (some at any cost to others) but sadly, they won't never find happiness by being selfish. This particular women believes she will find happiness by dressing the way she pleases, she won't
Nowhere in the bible are we promised personal happiness and we should never spend our lives searching for it. Seeking happiness through selfish pursues will only take us further away from Christ.
However, happiness can be found from knowing that through Christ we will receive everlasting peace and joy even when going through tribulations. In fact we must remain joyful during the tough times and thank and praise the Lord daily no matter what is happening in our lives.
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:27)
Our only source of our happiness is from God and God alone (and not from material goods) and knowing that Jesus Christ died on the cross for us, washing away our sins and giving us eternal life should bring us complete and utter joy and happiness which nothing in this world can surpass this.
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25:26)
I wonder if the woman who wrote the letter is truly happy. I doubt it. Wearing a short skirt might bring her a moment of pleasure but it is not everlasting and she will be forever searching and being disappointed as she has no idea what true joy is. It certainly isn't a piece of fabric. And in the process she is likely to upset and cause men to lust.
“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. (John 15:11)
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It is hard to explain to others, that it is not about us at all...but about others! How sad that we think we are here to make ourselves important. mari
ReplyDeleteVery true - people thinks its a very strange concept, to live to others and not your self and to live for God.
DeleteAhh Jo, another pet peeve of mine - and you are so totally right!
ReplyDeleteTo begin with, in your quote from the letter to the editor, "(within the bounds of decency)" -- you have to ask yourself what this even MEANS in today's society!!!! "Decency" seems to be losing (or maybe it has LOST) its meaning!
And, you hit the nail on the head -- people are so empty that they constantly seek moments of happiness in such ridiculous ways, it just makes you shake your head -- I mean, short skirts?? Really??!!
And as for this business of NOT being concerned about others in order to find happiness.... What a backward way of thinking! No wonder people are always seeking (and never finding) happiness -- their methods and purposes will always come to nothing, and without Christ (and loving others) they will die bitter, unhappy people who have always sought and never found. That quote by Albert Camus is so utterly untrue - and even if you ask someone random in public about it, I think they would *surely* have to disagree - even people of the world find satisfaction and happiness in helping someone else, at least from time to time (even if it's not a regular thing)! Surely people haven't become that hardened?! How tragic!
And don't even get me started on the subject of women who walk around in a bubble, thinking that their lack of decency has nothing to do with men, that they are not causing men to stumble and have trouble with their emotions and responses. There HAS to be responsibility on BOTH sides! This idea that women should be able to wear whatever they want and men just have to get a grip on themselves is so infuriating!!
DeleteI read with interest the line "within the bounds of decency" as I think her bounds of decency are very different my bounds of decency!! I often wonder where women would draw the line as I think some don't have any line at all. We don’t like to take responsibility for any of our actions because it couldn’t be our fault including how we make men to stubble by what we wear.
DeleteHi Jo, I guess this has said it all in so many cases! We do have a ME ME ME syndrome!
ReplyDeleteI am accountable for myself and it is all my fault if I give occasion for a brother to stumble!
This was so sad to read...
Roxy
it is sad and the author of this letter could be repeated by many many other young women (and older).
DeleteDear Jo,
ReplyDeleteI can see this kind of scantily clothed young ladies every day at the school where I teach and also, unfortunately, at church sometimes. I can´t help wondering "Don´t they have a mother?" And sadly, most of them haven´t had a real lady nearby who taught them better.
Most of the times, we can´t do much about that. But maybe we could be that godly mother and "adopt" one of these girls we see at church, wrap her in love and be "the older woman" she needs so desperately, as the apostle Paul commands. Pastors aren´t going to do that. That´s our task. Maybe we can be a blessing for some of these girls and, through our example, they can grasp it´s not about us but about the Lord.
Its even worse at school because all those young men with hormones all over the place and being tempted. No wonder we end up with relationships starting far too soon, teenage pregnancies and the like. We do need many more older women taking up the mantle of Titus 2 women and we more young women willing to listen and not think they know everything. The bible and God's word is our only answer.
DeleteI doubt that she even understands the real reason she dresses so. Let's face it, she receives "joy" from the attention though she thinks she sounds more dynamic by saying it is "about her". The sad part is that she doesn't understand that. Perhaps she lacked positive attention from her father growing up which gives her this mindset. Many times there is an underlying yearning that these poor girls have that only the Lord can fulfill. May one of us introduce her to Him one day!
ReplyDeleteI think they go through live searching and never finding . . . how sad is that :(
DeleteIt is true that we see this attitude all around us now.... the sad thing is that it also permeates the church, which should never be. It is also very hard to discuss any such subject with a person who is determined to please themselves, as they see no reason not to.... their understanding is "darkened". Only God can clear their vision.... Thank you for sharing this letter... it is very sad and hopeless, in a sense.... and a way for the girl to try to be "happy" and fulfilled, which can ONLY come through Jesus. What a blessing that He has saved us and may we walk in such a way as pleases Him.
ReplyDeleteOnce upon-a-time men and women dressed up to go to church, they wore their Sunday best. That has long gone and its very sad to see. My dad still wears his suit to the family meeting (which is home based) as to him, it is important to be smartly dressed for the Lord. I think this letter encapsulates the modern woman and that is so sad.
DeleteReading what that girl wrote in that quote at the top saddens me for her, truly! I pray that she does find true joy one day...which can only be found in Christ!
ReplyDeleteI agree - one day she will realise that clothing wasn't the answer to her happiness (probably along with many other vices) after spending large amounts of money in her attempt to find it. May we all pray that she does find the Lord.
DeleteThis seems to be such a common attitude in people today. Its all about me seems the way it is. Unfortunately they just don't get it. When Jesus walked on the earth it was all about what He was doing for us, what a great lesson. Thanks for sharing this at Good Morning Mondays. I really enjoy what you write.
ReplyDeleteNo one cares what anyone things or feels, they only want their own gratification. I shudder to think what our future youth will look like as middle aged citizens and how they will treat each other.
DeleteJo, this is such a heart-breaking subject. It's sad to think so many young women (and as someone said, not-so-young, and men, too) rely on how they look, the attention they get, and other things of no eternal value to make them feel good. I enjoyed your post. Thanks for linking up at Mondays @ Soul Survival.
ReplyDeleteI agree and these women become mothers and can imagine how they will bring up their daughters ? Its heartbreaking to think.
DeleteI think you hit the nail on the head when you said, "Wearing a short skirt might bring her a moment of pleasure but it is not everlasting and she will be forever searching and being disappointed as she has no idea what true joy is." I realized that this kind of thinking is very hedonistic and this is what we are dealing with in so much of culture today - seeking pleasure for pleasure's sake with no regard for anyone but self. Thank you for dealing with this problem in relation to dress. The rejection of responsibility towards others, as both men and women, is a serious problem in Western culture.
ReplyDeleteA good verse to go with it: Psalms 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
DeletePeople spend a lot of money and time seeking pleasure and they never find it which may explain why we have so many restless young people. However I put much of the blame on parents for giving their children everything they want and never making them do anything in return i.e. jobs around the house. Life has been free and easy for them.
DeleteThis is something that is debated so much these days. I recently read about a Christian blogger sharing how wearing leggings/tight pants can cause men to stumble and how she wasn't going to wear them anymore. The blog got into the hands of feminists who blasted her decision all over the web through websites like Huffington Post calling the decision ridiculous and such.
ReplyDeleteToo many women these days think that it is all about them and caring more about the attention that they receive than what it might cause for the men (husbands,brothers, etc.) to look at when they are out and about. I know I don't want my husband passing someone dressing that way. This is definitely a serious problem in society today and too many women take it lightly. And as others have said, even seeing women in the church dress this way bothers me as well. Thanks for sharing!
~~~~~Visiting from A Wise Woman Builds Her Home Linkup~~~~
I only wrote the legging story only yesterday to go with this one!! I was surprised it even made it to the Huffington Post as it really isn't news worthy but it shows how controversy it is. Women just don't care about others, or more correctly, society just doesn't care about others.
DeleteThanks for stopping by Carrie :))